Dance For Us In Heaven

[alexisgat06]

Thanks!

[alexisgat06]

I stood in the middle of the crowded airport as tears cascaded down my cheeks. I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't live everyday hurting because of him. I couldn't live everyday watching the people I loved more than anything fighting. I had to get out of there. I had to go back to the one place that no matter what made me feel better. I had to go home.

"When are you coming back?" I heard a voice ask me; everyones faces were a blur to me. I clutched on to the body that the voice was coming from and shrugged my shoulders. I knew the voice. It was the only voice that kept me going through everything. It was the voice that I would come back to. It was the voice that would always be my comfort no matter what. I blinked away the tears and looked up into Cris' eyes, red-rimmed and puffy.

I knew I was hurting him by leaving, but I had to do what was best for me right now. I had to leave. Cris leaned down and placed a kiss on my lips before I felt myself being pulled away from him. I sighed as I rested comfortably into my best friends arms and listened to him tell me how much he was going to miss me and how he was coming to see me as soon as he could. I giggled as he joked with me, but the tears still continued to fall. I was passed between the people that were there with me, each giving me hugs and kisses.

It killed me when I reached Belle. I knew I was leaving her to fend for herself with the boys, but she understood that this was something that I needed to do. I held onto her as we both cried into each other's shoulders. "Promise you'll come back," she choked out in between sobs. I nodded my head into her shoulder and whispered a promise before making my way back to Cris.

"You ready?" he asked me and I nodded my head, slipping my small hand into his. I turned and looked at my best friends, my family and gave them a pathetic wave before turning and making my way to my gate.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as I turned to look up at Cris.

"Don't be," he replied, running his thumbs under my eyes to wipe away my falling tears. "We're all dealing with this in our own way. Just promise me you'll come back. I can't live without you."

"I have to come back," I told him. "I can't live without you. I can't live without any of you guys."

--

"Our first group of Cali Kings represtin' San Diego," I heard Mario Lopez's voice echo throughout my living room causing me to focus my attention back onto my television. This was it. "Give it up for the masked men, JabbaWockeeZ!" I watched as the boys I considered family ran out onto the stage decked out in the outfits that I had chosen for them; red shirts and sweatpants. Each of them held their heads high with their white masks. When they reached center stage they pulled their masks off to the side of their faces and I grinned as the familiar faces. The faces I hadn't seen in over a year. "JabbaWockeeZ in the house!" Mario laughed and I couldn't help but laugh along.

I listened as the boys answered questions from the judges, but my hearts stopped at Lil Mama's final question. "Rynan? Now I understand that a very inspirational member of your crew passed away recently. Um, Gary? I want you to tell us about him."

I sucked in a breath as I watched sadness flicker across each of their faces before Rynan composed himself and began to speak. "Um well Gary was uh, he was like a mentor to all of us and the style we do in our crew. He is the reason for the style we have. Um, he's like the Yoda of our crew pretty much. Ya know, he's our brother. We love him very dearly. And we miss him, and yeah, we're doing this for him." As Rynan finished each boy lifted their pointer fingers in the air and I knew they were whispering "One for Gee."

"Alright fellas, nows the time to put your masks on so we can concentrate on your moves," Mario told them. The boys pulled their masks onto their faces and began to move across the stage into their first formation. "Representin' San Diego, Cali. Ladies and Gentleman our first West Coast Crew, here comes JabbaWockeeZ!"

--

"You made it on the show!" I screeched into my phone loudly. I adjusted my phone as I listened to Cris laugh on the other end.

"I know," he continued to laugh. "How are you? How is lil man?"

One thing that had changed over the past year was that I had gotten pregnant and had a son. When I returned home from California I went with my best friend to a party. At the party I completely let myself go and consumed way too much alcohol. Also at the party was my ex boyfriend whom I had been with for almost four years before moving to California. One thing led to another and boom out came my son nine months later. Unfortunately his father was not in the picture, but fortunately Cris had forgiven me for my mistakes and was willing to take Jayden, my son, into his life whenever I decided to move back to California, which I was planning on doing so.

"We're both good. He watched his Daddy on TV tonight," I giggled. I often referred to Cris as Brayden's father just to make it easier on Brayden growing up. I wanted him to always know he had a daddy, whether Cris was biological or not.

"Good. One day he'll be up on stage dancing too, as long as he has your genes," Cris laughed. "Let's just hope he has your genes and not that idiots."

"Hopefully," I smiled. "I miss you so much babe," I sighed, laying my head back onto the couch. "I want to come out soon, but Bray is still too little to travel like that."

"I'll come see you once everything with the show is figured out," he told me, even though I knew it was going to be impossible for him to fly across the country to see me. With rehersals for the show, and everything else they had to do I knew I wouldn't be seeing him for a very long time.

"Alright, well I need to get to be. Remember it's three hours later here," I laughed sleepily. "Call me tomorrow when you wake up. I love you."

"I love you too, Alexis," Cris replied, and I could almost hear the smile that was on his face. "Tell Bray I love him too."

I smiled as I heard his last words before hanging up. I was so happy that through everything that had happened he had remained my one person who I could count on no matter what to make me feel better. Even though it killed me to be away from him, I knew that it would only make us stronger in the end.

[alexisgat06]

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