Best Days of Your Life

[lovestory]

It was the day of the first show and we were all hanging around backstage. Everyone was pumped and excited to finally perform for the fans and not have to worry about being judged. We got to do our own thing and sing our own style of music. It was going to be an awesome summer.

Katie and I sat in the corner of the rehersal room talking.

"If I tell you something will you promise not to say a word?" I asked.

"That is never a good way to start a conversation." Katie said as she took a sip of her water, "I can't promise that I won't say anything, because if you murdered someone or something crazy I will have to rat you out."

"Lee and me kissed last night." I blurted out.

It felt so good to get out. It has been eating me up inside all day and Lee was acting really weird around me. Granted we made out last night and he has a girlfriend, but when he left my room he seemed fine. Maybe the guilt just got to him? I don't know, but it was super awkward for me.

"What do you mean kissed!" Katie's voice rose and her eyes bugged out.

"Shh!" I clamped my hand over her mouth, "We kiss. I don't know."

"Like a peck or full blown making out with tounge and groping."

"The second one. Not too much groping though." I rolled my eyes, "We were in our room and he was apologizing and the next thing I know he is in my bed and we are making out."

"Oh my gosh!" Katie gasped, clasping her hand over her mouth, "I don't even know what to say. I knew you guys would find your way to one another."

"Too bad he is still with Ashley and he said that the whole thing was a mistake." I muttered, leaning my head against the wall, "I feel like such a slut. He has a girlfrien and as bitchy as she is, nobody should be cheated on. I know what that's like and it sucks. I never thought I would be the girl that someone's boyfriend cheats on her with."

"The chemistry that you and Lee have is undeniable. You guys are attracted to one another and eventually that playful flirting was going to turn into something else." Katie explained to me, "Granted you probably should have waited until him and Ashley broke up, because that is bound to happen."

"I don't wanna be that girl! I feel like such a scummy person."

"You're not. You got caught up in the moment. Like I said, it was bound to happen eventually." Katie said.

"He's being so awkward today too."

"Lee's always awkward." Katie said and I had to laugh.

"More awkward than normal." I said and looked at her, "This may sound corny, but that kiss was amazing! I have never felt more connection in a kiss in my life. There was something there. I got butterflies."

"My little Maris! You're so cute and in love!" She wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me.

"I'm not in love!" I laughed.

Andrew, Ryan, and Lee walked over towards us. Katie let go of me and I looked up as Lee shoved his hands in his jean pockets and looked around the room awkwardly.

"We're going outside to meet the fans that are waiting for us. You guys wanna come?" Andrew asked.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Sure." Katie smiled.

I stood up from the couch and smoothed out my dress. I started heading out of the room and walked past Lee.

"You look nice today." He said quietly and a bit awkwardly.

"Thanks." I smiled.

It was the first thing he said to me, but I would definately take it. I felt my cheeks heating up and I was smiling like a fool. I felt like such a loser who was crushing hardcore on the cute, older boy, who wanted nothing to do with me at this moment in his life. It still made me smile when he said little things like that. I wish he was mine.

----------

"You girls enjoy the show tonight!" I said, to two young teenage girls as I walked off after getting a picture and autograph with me.

I walked down the line fo fans and continued to sign, take pictures, and have small conversations with the fans. They were all really amazing and it still amazed me that they were hear to see us perform. Last year at this time I was getting ready to audition and now I was here! It's insane how much time things change in over a year.

"Damaris, I love you! Will you marry me?"

I glanced up and smiled when I saw a guy standing in front of me with a groupd of friends, who looked like they would rather be anywhere else but here. He couldn't of been much more then 23, but he was getting really into this.

"Yes, I will marry you!" I laughed, "Do you have something for me to sign?"

"Can you sign my chest?"

"Um. Sure!" I laughed.

He ripped off his tee-shirt and immediately on of our security guards came rushing over to me and started yelling at him to put his clothes back on. I smiled and rolled my eyes and started signing my name on his chest.

"It's fine! Nobody's getting hurt." I said.

"She's my future wife!" He called out.

"What's your name?" I asked.

"Chris."

"It's nice to meet you, Chris!" I said putting the marker cap back on and giving him a hug.

"Can I get a picture with you too?"

"Sure!" I nodded.

He handed one of his friends the camera and I moved closer to the barricade and wrapped my arm around his back and smiled for the picture.

"What the heck is this?" Big Mike asked, as he walked over.

"I signed my first chest and am engaged." I told him.

"We'll see about that! You need to pass the Big Mike text of approval man! This is my girl right here." Mike ansered and I smiled, "Until then put your shirt back on and that engagment is off."

"It was nice meeting you guys! I hope you have fun tonight, but I have to get back inside for meet and greets and sound check!" I told them.

"See you tonight!" Chris yelled.

"Are you insane?" Mike asked as we walked into teh arena.

"What?"

"Signing dudes chests?" He asked.

"Who cares! It's no different then Lee signing bras or signing the arms of fans."

"That dude was totally into you and it was in a really creepy way! You gotta be careful. You're too nice Maris, we need to have you go out and sign with one of us guys so we can keep the creeps away." Mike smiled.

"Whatever!" I laughed.

"Yo, big head!" Mike yelled to Lee as we walked past him, and I laughed.

Big Mike always told Lee his head was way too big for his body and in a way I had to agree. Lee had a pretty big head, it was adorable, but he did. He wasn't the tallest guy either so I think between that and his huge hair, that made his head even bigger looking.

"What the hell man? You look like the friggen Jolly Green Giant!" Lee said.

"Our girl Maris was signing some crazy dudes chest." Mike said.

"Nice." Lee rolled his eyes and looked at me.

"You were sigining some girls bra, what is the difference?" I asked.

"There is a lot. One the bra wasn't on her body and two I am a guy and can defend myself if some crazy chick tries to have her way with me!" Lee said.

"Oh, so now because I am a girl I can't defend myself?" I asked, crossing my arms across my chest.

"I'm not saying that, but that guy probably outweighed you and was much taller then you! You aren't the biggest girl out there, you are on the tiny side." Lee told me.

"Atleast I don't have a head that takes up my whole body!" I scoffed and Mike laughed.

"Whoa! Easy there." Lee said, holding up his hands defensivly, "I am just looking out for you. There are a lot of creeps out there, just be careful."

"I will." I sighed.

"Hug it out!" Mike said to Lee and me.

"No." I shook my head, "I really need to get ready."

I hurried off before anyone could say anything.

I wasn't going to touch Lee until he was done with Ashley.

[imthegirl]

more!

[caitlynj]

keep going.

[lovestory]

"Maris, you ready?" Kim, our tour manager asked as she walked into the room where we were all sitting.

I nodded and stood up as everyone called out goodluck to me. Casey James was on stage now, which met I was going next followed by Lee. I watched Katie and Andrew's set and the crowd was amazing. I couldn't wait to just get up there and do my thing. Sure, I was a little nervous, but it was a good nervous.

I stood by the stage enterance and peaked out as Casey was tearing it up on his guitar and the fans were loving it. This was going to be crazy.

A stagehand came over and started hooking my micpac to the back of my dress and helped me with getting my microphone hooked to my ear. All the wardrobe consultants and hairstylists came rushing over and fixed up my outfit and hair. As another stage hand handed me my guitar.

"I feel like Britney Spears with this microphone." I said, as I placed my guitar over my head, "I may go up there and change my whole set and do a Britney concert instead."

"Don't even joke about something like that happening. It's the first show and I am nervous as hell and want everything to go smoothly." Kim said, as she untwisted my guitar strap, "When you are running around make sure you don't flash anybody your underwear or anything."

"I will be sure not to give them a bigger show." I laughed.

"What' up?" Lee asked, as he made his way over to us, "You ready to rock it?"

"I am!" I nodded, "How about you?"

"I was born ready!" He smiled.

"It's crazy out there. They are going to go nuts for you." I told Lee.

"And they are going to go just as nuts for you. Maybe your shirtless boyfriend will be front row."

"Ha! You are so funny." I rolled my eyes and smiled, "Are you jealous because I didn't sign your chest? If you want I will be more than happy too."

"Believe me, that is the last thing I want." Lee grinned, "How about you sign my ass cause that is what you are!"

"Why are you so funny?" I laughed softly, pushing him away from me.

Casey came walking down the stairs and I smiled and gave him a hug as he walked over towards us.

"That was truely amazing! You are going to have the time of you life!" Casey said.

"You were awesome! You killed it!" I told him.

"Thanks!"

"Mari, let's go!" Kim yelled.

"Good luck!" Casey called out.

"Break a leg, not literally." Lee said.

I rolled my eyes and walked up the stairs. I heard the music to my introduction start playing and the screams grew louder and louder. I took a deep breath and waited for my cue to go on. I heard the band start to kick in and the crowd got even louder. I started playing the chords to my first song which was Shania Twain's "Man! I feel Like a Woman".

My whole set was a pop country set. I had everything from Taylor Swift to Uncle Kracker in my setlist. It was the music that I loved to sing and the kind of album that I would be making. I wouldn't classify myself as a country singer, but I guess you could say I got a bit of a Taylor Swift vibe to my music style.

I got the cue and ran out on the stage as the lights went bright. The audience got to there feet and started cheering loudly!

"Are you ready Auburn Hills, Michigan!" I yelled loudly and they cheered, "I said Are you ready Auburn Hills, Michigan?"

The cheers got much louder and I smiled.

"Let's do this!" I said.

I could get used to doing this for the rest of my life. This was truely and incredible feeling.

---------------

"Thank you so much! You guys are so frickin' awesome! I love you all!" I said as I finished my final song, Carrie Underwood's Before He Cheats, "My boy Lee is coming out next and I want you all to go nuts for him!"

The arena cheered loudly as Lee's name was mentioned and I smiled.

"I love you guys!" I called out.

That was the most amazing experience in my life. I couldn't believe that the arena of people were cheering that loudly for me. They were singing and dancing along and not in a million years did I ever expect it to be like. If this is how every night if going to be, then I think I could get used to this whole touring thing.

I ran off stage and headed backstage. Lee was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for his cue to go. He held up his hand as I walked past him and I slapped my hand against his.

"Awesome job. Thanks for the shoutout!" Lee smirked.

"Of course! You may be a pain in my ass, but I love you so I will be nice." I laughed, "Go and rock out. You're going to kill it."

"Thanks!"

I squeezed his arm as I walked past him and started heading back to the dressing area, so I could change my outfit for the final group number.

"Hey Maris!" Lee called out.

"Yeah?" I turned around and looked back at him.

"Was your shirtless boyfriend in the front row?" He cracked a smile.

I rolled my eyes and stuck up my middle finger as I ran off and headed out to get ready.

"Break a leg Lee, literally!" I teased.

"Touche."

That was the good thing about Lee and me. We could make fun of one another constantly and we wouldn't get annoyed about it. I knew he was joking with everything he said and he knows that I am joking around. We shared the same kind of sense of humor, which is a reason we really hit it off.

Atleast he was acting normal towards me now and not awkward like things were earlier.

[imthegirl]

more!

[caitlynj]

this is really good.

[lovestory]

I was getting ready to head out to go sign some autographs with the fans, after the show. The fans line up behind barricades outside the buses and we have about a hour or so to sign and take pictures and meet with them. This afternoon there was only a few outside, but I heard at night it gets pretty crazy.

"Hey Maris, can I talk to you for a minute?" Lee asked as I walked out of the dressing area for the girls.

"Um. Sure." I nodded.

"Well, you know that Ashley and a few of my friends are taking the ride to Milwaukee for tomorrow nights show." Lee said and I just nodded, "I was thinking that I wanted to tell Ashley what happened between the gtwo of us. I think she has a right to know what happened."

"I agree." I nodded.

This girl was going to hate me so much more then she already did. I was going to hide from her when Lee gtold her what happened, because otherwise I think hair would be flying. She did have a right to know and it sounds awful, but maybe if she finds out she will dumpe Lee and I will have a shot. Very unlikely though.

"I just wanted to make sure it was cool with you."

"Lee, even if it wasn't it's your relationship and you have a right to tell her whatever."

"I just don't want things getting out of control, because she can be quite the drama queen at times."

"I'm very aware of that." I smiled, "I think you are doing the right thing. We did something that was completely wrong on so many levels and if I were in her place I would want to know."

"I'm glad you are cool with this."

"I am. I just don't want to be there when you tell her."

"Why? You think she will try and throw some punches?" Lee asked.

"Yes, and I think she could probably take me. I am not much of a fighter and she seems like she can hold her own. She's bigger then me." I said.

"You seem little and scrappy." Lee grabbed my bicep and squeezed it lightly, "There is some muscle there!"

"I am not beating up anybody. I'm a lover not a fighter." I smiled.

"Ashley's the other way around." Lee muttered and I laughed softly.

"She's so going to kick your ass." I laughed.

"Don't laugh cause you'll be next in line. She already hates you as it is and this is going to make her hate you even more. Prepare for the wrath of Ashley." Lee told me.

"Thanks for the encouragement," I laughed and looked over at him, "I can't really blame her though because if I were in her shoes I would hate me too. She is going to have every right to hate me and if she kicks my butt I completely understand."

"You're way too nice." Lee laughed.

"I try and understand other people's point of view and how I would react if I were in that situation. What we did was wrong and if I were in her situation I would probably dump your ass and kick mine." I gave him a small smile and he frowned, "I'm sure you guys will work it out though."

"I guess if it ends it wasn't meant to be." Lee shrugged.

"Everything happens for areason, but don't think negatively yet. Who knows what will happen." I said.

"I honestly don't know what I would do without you here! You always know what to say to make me feel so much better when I feel like a the biggest jerk in the world," Lee said, drapping his arm causually around my shoulder, "Thank you so much for being an amazing friend."

"I'm here for you and I know you would do the same if I was in your shoes." I smiled at him and then made a face, "We are being such saps. It's getting weird."

"This is so unlike us." He chuckled.

"Let's go sign autographs before we make out again." I laughed.

"Let's go." He laughed along with me.

-----------

Katie and I sat in the front of the bus, later that night. We were on our way to Milwaukee. It was only about a six hour drive, so we would sleep a little on the bus then head into the hotel and stay their until we had to head to the venue. We were watching a movie and ust pigging out on junk food.

"He's going to tell Ashley about everything that happened." I told Katie.

"How do you feel about that?"

"Obviously I'm not jumping up and down about it, but I understand why he would tell her. He is doing the right thing, because she deserves to know that her boyfriend and I made out in my hotel room." I said making a face at the way that sounded, "That sounds so trashy. I would kick my butt if I were her."

No matter how much I hated Ashley, she didn't deserve this. I was in the wrong and I fully accepted that fact.

"You made out with Lee?"

I turned around to see Siobhan standing there. I rolled my eyes and turned back around. Bring on the lecture.

"That is so wrong! I knew that you two were more then friends." Siobhan gasped, "You two should feel really crappy about what you did. I can't believe you would ruin their relationship like that."

"This is none of your business. I am having a conversation with Katie and I don't feel like being lectured by you right now."

"That's a really slutty thing to do." Siobhan continued.

"As if I don't feel like sh!t already, you're not making it any better! I know I am in the wrong and don't need you going all mom on me. I'm sick and tired of all you snide comments, you honestly need to just butt out of my life." I snapped, standing up, "We aren't friends and we will never be friends! I cannot stand you!"

"Damaris!" Katie said.

"Goodnight." I muttered, pushing past Siobhan and heading to my bunk.

"What's going on out there?" Didi asked groggily from her bunk.

"Nothing." I scoffed.

I know I was a bit harsh, but it just came out. I knew I would regret saying those things in the morning and I knew I would feel like complete crap about it, but in that moment I just didn't care.

[imthegirl]

aaw poor maris.
i hope things will be fine.

[caitlynj]

yeah I hope things work out and I can't wait to see what happens with Ashley.

[lovestory]

"Wake up sunshine, we are at the hotel!" Katie said, shaking me awake.

I groaned and looked down at my cellphone, that was rested by my head. It was only six in the morning. I fell asleep about three hours ago and I didn't wanna get up and head into the hotel. I had no choice though and I guess the hotel bed would be much more comfortable.

I sat up and looked over at Katie who was now cracking up at me.

"What?" I groaned.

"You're hair is all over the place and you look like you are about to kill somebody!" Katie laughed.

I was! I was not a morning person at all. Everyone knew that about me and would constantly tease me for it. I liked to sleep in and ever since the show started I have not been able to do that. If I could change one thing about this experience, it would be that I could sleep in until the sun comes up. I learned that coffee and energy drinks were my new best friend. Don't even try and have a conversation with me if I didn't drink any of those things yet.

I rolled my eyes and climbed out of my bunk and slid on my flip flops, before following Katie off the bus. All the guys and the rest of the girls were making their way into the hotel.

"Goodmorning sunshine." Casey said.

"Morning Princess." I smiled.

The nickname that we gave Casey was Princess, because he was just so pretty like a Princess. He hated it, but would always just laugh it off.

He smiled and we continued to walk inside when I felt my flip flop snap and my foot slid out of it. I looked down to see a broken flip flop just sitting there and my foot bear.

"Guys, my flip flop broke!" I whined.

"Ha-ha!" Lee pointed and laughed.

I cursed under my breath and picked up my busted up flip flop. If there weren't other people around and if I had good aim, that flip flop would have went flying right at Lee's big head. Lee came walking towards me and crouched down in front of me.

"Get on." Lee said.

"I can walk! You don't need to give me a piggy back ride." I said, as I glanced over at the enterance way and saw the other contestants staring at us.

"The ground is dirty, just get on!" Lee arugued.

I gave in and climbed on his back. I wrapped my arms loosely around his neck. He stood up and reached behind him and wrapped his strong arms around my legs, so that I wouldn't fall. I had to admit, the fact that he would do this for me made me feel like he actually cared for me, more then just a friend. Maybe I did have a shot?

"You need to lay off the ice cream!" He teased.

"Or maybe you need to hit the gym." I shot back.

"I'm teasing. You're the only girl I would do this for."

"Thanks Leon."

"You're the only person I will let call me Leon too, unless it's my mom and she is yelling at me." Lee said and I smiled.

"What time is Ashley coming?"

"She should be here around noon. Are you ready for the wrath of Ashley?"

"I got my boxing gloves on in case I need to defend myself if she punches me." I smiled.

"I mean, the kiss didn't mean anything. We are both lonely and on the road and it just happened. It will never happen again." Lee explained, and I frowned.

"Yeah. I know." I nodded.

If only he really knew what I was thinking. Why couldn't he just see that Ashley wasn't worth his time anymore and that I was here. A girl who loves him for who he is and supports him no matter what was standing right in front of his eyes and yet he still didn't see it. He was so caught up in this whole Ashley thing. Guys could be so dumb.

--------------

"Ashley's here!" Katie came rushing onto the bus.

Today we were in Milwaukee and we would be performing at Summerfest, which is a huge concert held in Milwaukee with about five hundred different bands that play throughout the week. Lee was explaining it to me earlier, because he used to take the ride from Chicago to here every summer to see it. I don't know much about it, but according to Lee it was huge and I should be excited to perform here.

Unlike last night it was a outside venue and to our pleasure the weather was humid and hot. It was definately going to be interesting.

"Oh gosh! Where's Ted? I need him to stay with me so I don't get my ass kicked!" I said, referring to Lee's security guard, who means business.

"He's probably with Lee." Katie laughed.

"Then I need Big Mike." I panicked.

"You are overreacting. She is not going to kick your butt, Lee won't let that happen." Katie smiled.

"I hate myself for doing this." I sighed, "Why does he have to be so cute and why does he have to charm me? Gosh, he is so friggen perfect!"

"Okay, excuse me while I go and throw up my lunch." Katie scoffed.

"This is going to be a long night."

"It so is." She smiled.

[caitlynj]

haha, can't wait to see what happens.

[imthegirl]

ooo, i'm nervous!

[lovestory]

Andrew and I were sitting outside the buses, with our guitars just messing around and playing music. Andrew has always been my jamming out buddy. We would always just play together, sometimes he would record it and put it on his youtube account for fans. It made time pass faster and we had fun doing it.

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset
She's going off about something that you said
'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do

I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do

But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

I stopped singing as I heard Andrew let out a laugh. I smiled and looked over at him as I stopped playing.

"What?" I asked.

"I wonder who that is towards?" Andrew hinted, "Let's see his girlfriend is here now, so that would only make sense."

"I just like the song." I rolled my eyes.

"I heard what you two did. You two sneaky children." Andrew teased, and I gave him a look. "Lee told me everything, he's my boy we share that kinda stuff. Just like you probably told Katie."

"Yes, and Sio found out and now she is all over my ass and I flipped out on her last night and said some not so nice things."

"You girls. That is why I am glad I am a dude."

"What Lee and I did was a mistake, even he agrees. Nothing was meant out of it."

"I don't care what you guys say, there is something going on with you two. You guys will find that out sooner or later. The way he looks at you and the way he acts around you it's reminds me of Christine and me. You just know when two people have that connection and I see that with you two. Whether you two act on it or not, there is something there. You just don't make out with people you aren't attracted too." Andrew lectured me, "Personally, I thnk he wants Ashley just to have someone and is too scared to give her up. He'll come around though."

"I don't know. We'll see." I shrugged.

"Well here comes the devil now." Andrew said.

I glanced up and my stomach dropped when I saw Ashley charging her way over to us. I glanced over at Andrew with a panicked look on my face and He placed his hand on my shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. This girl was definately about to beat me up.

"You seriously are nothing but a dirty little slut! Lee told me everything!" She yelled when she approached me, "What's your problem? You can't find a guy who is single, so you have to go after the one guy who is in relationship? Are you banging all the other guys while you are at?"

"Ashley, I know what I did was wrong and I apologize! Lee and I made a huge mistake." I put my hand up and started to say.

"I don't wann hear it! You have been all over Lee since the beginning and you knew he was with me! I know we never gotten along, but what you did was totally f**ked up!"

"I know." I agreed, "I can't do anything to take that back and if I could I would. I am in the wrong here and I apologize, eventho I know that it's not going to fix everything."

"You want everyone to think you are this innocent, nice girl. America's Sweetheart, boy are they going to be surprised when they find out what sleaze bags you and Lee both are! I spent 3 and 1/2 years on that guy and this is what a I get in return." She choked back tears and shook her head, "I can't even look at you. You both make me sick."

"Ashley." I said.

"I don't wanna hear it! You guys have a great life together," She held up her hand and shook her head, "I may not have been the nicest girl to him, but I love him. I hope your happy with what you did you skank! He's yours now."

I know I should probably be upset with the names she called me, but I wasn't. If I were in her shoes, I would have reacted way worse. I was a scummy person for doing what I did. I felt like crap. Nobody deserved to be put in that situation. It's a crappy feeling.

I placed my head in my hands as Ashley stormed off and started to cry. Andrew pulled me closer to him and I rested my head on his shoulder.

"I feel like such a horrible person." I said between sobs.

"What you did was wrong, but she had it coming. She was so awful to Lee and he could only take so much of that."

"It still doesn't make what I did any better." I cried.

Gosh, I felt so shitty.

---------

I sat in the empty seats in the audience, listening to Didi sing as she started off the sound check. I was feeling like crap and not into thiw whole thing tonight. I'm sure once the show starts I will be more pumped, but right now I couldn't even imagine going out there. I was feeling like crap and couldn't get everything off my mind.

"Is this seat taken?" Lee asked, as he pointed to the empty chair next to me.

"No." I shook my head.

He sat down and I turned my attention back to Didi.

"Andrew, told me verything that happened and he mentioned that you were pretty upset." Lee said quietly, "How are you feeling?"

"Like a horrible person." I shrugged.

"Yeah, me too." He nodded and turned his attention to the stage, "She cursed me off, slapped me across the face and took off. I've never been the guy who cheats on his girlfriend, that was always something I swore I would never do. It's a pretty crappy thing."

"I know." I agreed, "I'm sorry she ended things with you."

"I knew it was happening sooner or later. I just wish it was from different circumstances."

"Yeah, I never wanted to be the girl who breaks up the relationship." I sighed, "I'm sorry about everything. I feel so awful and I completely understand if you don't wanna even talk to me anymore."

"Don't be crazy. You aren't getting rid of me that easily." He smirked and reached up, adjusting his beanie on his head, "I like you too much to just kick you to the curb."

"Good." I gave him a small smile, "You always can make me feel a little bit better."

"Why is that?" He asked.

"Because I know no matter what I do and no matter how many people hate me, you will always be there for me and support me! I have few people like that in my life and you and Katie are the two people that I know will always be there for me. You're pretty much the perfect guy, Lee." I told him.

"I'm far from perfect." He laughed softly, "But, we have a special bond."

I smiled and nodded as I looked up at him.

"You sure you are okay with the outcome?" I asked quietly, laying my head on his shoulder.

"I'm more then okay with it." Lee mumbled and I smiled.

He could always make me feel better, no matter what the situation was.

[caitlynj]

aww at least Lee isn't mad at her because of the thing with Ashley.

[lovestory]

After the show that night we gathered on the buses to head to Grand Rapids, Michigan. I was in the living area, while the other girls headed off to bed. I couldn't sleep, so I decided to watch some tv and write a little bit to clear my mind of the crazy day that I had.

The concert was amazing and once again the fans were incredible. Since it was a outside venue and the tempurature was in the ninties, we were all sweaty and gross when we were done. It was fun though and definately worth the sweat, especially after you hear the crowds reaction. I don't think it is anything I will ever get used too, but in a way I didn't want to. It was the most amazing feeling to know that a lot of these people were fans of mine.

"Hey!"

I looked up from my notebook and saw Siobhan making her way into the kitchen area.

"Hi." I said softly, before turning back to my writing.

"Can we talk?" Siobhan asked, as she made her way over towards the couch I was sitting on.

I nodded and moved my legs so that she could sit down. I closed my writing book and placed it on the ground as I looked over at her.

I genuinely felt bad for the things I said the night before, but she was at fault for it too. The thing with Siobhan was that sometimes she went a bit too far with her jokes. I dealt with it throughout the show and now on tour and I just lashed out. I should have handled it a better way.

"I'm sorry for the things I said to you." Siobhan said.

"Sometimes I feel like you pinpoint me and put me in these awkward positions. I know it's your way of joking, but it can get really annoying at times." I told her, as I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, "I should have handled it differently though. We are completely different people with way different personalities. I really like you and I really wish we could be closer."

"It was just that when you and Lee hooked up it bothered me. I have been in that place of where a boy has cheated on me with the pretty and perfect girl like you and it sucks. I shouldn't have butt in and I am sorry." She apologized.

"Sio, I am the furthest thing from perfect." I told her.

"It's just I had a rough time in high school with bullies and crap. I was made fun of everyday by girls like you."

"High school was no field day for me." I shook my head.

"Who are you kidding you dated the football player and were homecoming queen."

"That football player was the biggest asshole ever! I went through so much with him and not just your normal high school fights. I dealt with this crap with him up until last year, he was the main reason why I came on the show, so that I could get the hell away from him." I told her.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"I never talk about this." I mumbled, as I blinked back tears as everything from my past came rushing back to my mind.

"You don't have to talk to me about this if you don't wanna." Siobhan said, placing her hand on my leg.

"No, no. It's fine." I gave her a small smile, "The only people who know this stuff is my family and Katie."

"You really don't have to tell me if you don't want too." She said quietly.

"Everything with my ex-boyfriend, Joey and I was perfect for the first year of so. We started dating my junior year and I was so in love or so I thought. Our senior year was when things started going downhill and one night after a party at our friends house he tried to have sex with me. I wasn't ready for it and he didn't like the fact that I denied him, so he basically slapped me around and just called me awful names." I started to explain.

I didn't know why I was pouring everything out to her. Maybe it was because I needed to get this off my chest and not hide it anymore or maybe it was because I actually wanted to be able to trust her and be closer to her. Whatever it was I couldn't stop.

"He went away to school in New York and came back home on weekends. I knew he was cheating on with me with other girls, but I just turned my back to it because I was so scared to confront him, because I didn't know what he was capable of doing. I finally did confront him about it and he beat me up, more then he did in the past and I just let him get away with it and I lied to my parents that I ran into a door." I let out a deep, shaky breath, "When he came back home for the summer he tried having sex with me again and again I denied him, but this time he didn't just hit me. He raped me."

"Oh my gosh." She said quietly, grabbing my hand.

"And I was so scared and stupid and I stayed with him and he made it a normal thing." I started to cry as I explained everything.

"Nobody should ever have to go through that!" Siobhan said, pulling me into a hug.

"To this day I have so much trouble trusting guys and Lee is the one guy I trust. I know he would never do anything like that to me and that is why I am so close to him." I cried into her shoulder, hugging her.

"If you ever need someone to talk to, I am here for you." She said quietly.

"Thanks." I said as I pulled away from her, "I've been okay though. My parents sent me to therapy and he is now officially out of my life and I am such a happier person now."

"Nobody deserves that. I'm am so sorry you had to go through that." She said.

"This is the happiest I have been in so long and coming here was incredible. I have made so many friends who I know that love me for me now and it's incredible." I said and she smiled.

"I know that we haven't been the closest, but I really do love you and will do anything for you! I'm here for you, Maris!"

"I love you too and I'm glad we're cool now!" I hugged her quickly, "Thanks for listening."

"Of course."

"Please just keep this between us. The only other person who knows is Katie."

"It's our secret." She nodded.

"I'm going to head to bed!"

"Me too! I am exhausted."

"It has been a emtionally draining day." I smiled.

"It will get better." She assured me.

"I know." I nodded, "Goodnight!"

"Night!"

Well, this was a way to start off on a clean slate. No more drama and just fun. I can hope!