Crazy Dreams

[caitlynj]

I dislike Kyle with a passion.

[lovestory]

Kendall.

I headed towards Lee's room later that afternoon. I knew he was leaving for the studio soon and I wanted to talk to him about what happened earlier at breakfast. I haven't talked to Lee since my freak out this morning and I felt really bad and wanted to apologize for the way I acted, before he went to the studio. I overreacted about everything that happened and took it out on Lee and it wasn't even his fault. I just wanted to clear the air with him, because he was the last person I want to fight with.

I knocked on the door and stood there paiently. He opened the door and looked at me, not saying a word as he walked back over to his bed and laid down. I sighed and walked into the room, closing the door behind me. I hated being ignored, I would rather him scream at me then be completely silent. I could tell he was pissed off, just by the look on his face.

"Hi." I said, breaking the silenece.

"Come here to throw another fit or should I get Mike in here so we can have an audience again?" Lee asked, staring me straight in my eyes.

"I came to apologize for freaking out this morning. I just had a lot on my mind and things were bothering me and I took it out on you and that wasn't fair. You didn't deserve that and I am really sorry." I said, sitting on the edge of his bed and looking down at him.

"It's fine." He said quietly.

"No it's not. You didn't deserve the way I treated you and the things I said. If I were you I would dump my ass." I said.

"Well, you aren't going to get rid of me that easy. Couples fight and right now we are in a stressful situation. I know if we work on this though, we will be fine. I care too much about you and won't let little petty fights break us up." Lee said, as he grabbed my hand, "Kendall, I love you."

My eyes widened as he blurted out those three words. I wasn't expecting my boyfriend to confess his love for me, when I came over here to apologize. I was taken aback by what he just said. Did I love him? Absolutely, I was too scared to say anything first though. Did the feelings I have for him scare me? They did. I never expected the man of my dreams American Idol and I sure as hell didn't expect to fall so hard for him so quickly. It took Kyle a year to say those three words and it only took Lee four monthes, and I felt so much different with Lee. I felt like he would never hurt me the way Kyle did and that he would always love me and be there for me, unlike Kyle. He is perfect boyfriend material.

"Lee-" I started to say, but he held up his hand and opened to his mouth and continued to speak.

"This isn't the way I planned on telling you, but I couldn't keep it in anymore. I know that you have a lot of trust issues and that this is kinda fast to say I love you, but the way I feel about you is so much different then the feelings I have had for my ex's. You drive me crazy sometimes, but I absolutely love that about you. It sounds so cheesy, but when you walk in a room or call me I get butterflies and I've never had that before. I love you." He said.

"I love you too, but it scares me so much that I am falling for you so quickly." I said.

"I know that Kyle screwed you up pretty badly, but I don't want you to be scared about this. I will never hurt you and I will always be here for you. I don't throw the I love you phrase out like it means nothing, I have said it to one girl in my life and those feelings I had for her aren't anything to what I have for you. This is real Kendall."

"You're making me cry." I laughed softly, wiping the tears from my eyes, "I came here thinking I was going to have to beg you for my forgivness, but this is much better! You love me!"

"I think you just said that you love me too." He laughed.

"A little bit." I smirked and leaned down, kissing him quickly before pulling away and looking at him, "Just promise me that you won't hurt me."

"I promise." He ran his hand through my hair and nodded.

I smiled and climbed on top of Lee and rested my chin on his chest. He wrapped his arm around my waist and rubbed my cheek with his free hand, as I looked up at him and smiled.

"Where's Andrew and Mike?" I asked.

"Andrew is with his girlfirend and son and Mike went out to explore the city a little bit." Lee said.

"So, it's just us?" I asked, running my hand up and down his side.

"What do you have in mind?" He gave me a goofy grin.

"Well since I was such a bitch earlier and you told me that you love me. I think I am ready to finally be with you." I said quietly.

"Don't tease me like that. I can't handle it." Lee sighed.

"I'm serious. We have an hour to kill and I am finally ready."

"Are you sure? I don't want you doing this just because you think that this is what I want, I mean I do want it, but only when you are ready. I don't want you to feel forced into doing this if you aren't ready." Lee said, looking at me seriously.

I smiled at how cute he was with his rambling and making sure that I was comfortable and okay with everything. Most guys would have been halfway through undressing right now and he was worried about me. That says a lot about him, especially because he has been celibate for a while now.

"I'm positive. Now shut up and let's do this." I smiled, sitting up and stratling him.

"Alright. Get ready for some crazy lovin." Lee said, sitting up and pulling his tee-shirt over his head.

"Don't kill the mood." I laughed and leaned down, kissing him, pushing him down on the bed.

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I sat in my hotel room later that night after the show, with Katie, Katelyn, and Lacey. We were having a nice girls night in after the guys performace show. The guys all sounded pretty good, especially Lee and the judges loved him. Simon even told him that he was the best out of the guys and can potentially be in the final. Overall it was a pretty good night.

"Where were you and Lee earlier today. Andrew was looking all over for Lee and he told me that Lee was a half hour late." Katie said, popping a spoon of Ben and Jerry's in her mouth.

"Oh no! Lee was actually late for his boyfriend Andrew?" Katelyn laughed.

"We were just talking some things over." I said, laying back on the bed and rested my head on the pillow.

"Sure. Talking. You two had that glow about you when you came down." Lacey grinned, and looked at me.

"Oh my gosh! You and Lee had sex? How was it? Is he any good?" Katelyn gasped, dropping her spoon in her ice cream pint.

"Wow. That was pretty straight to the point Katelyn." I laughed, "It was good and that is all I am saying."

Okay, it was better then okay. It was great. It was the first time that I had sex with someone I loved and it just meant so much and made everything so much better. I mean, I always thought I loved Kyle, but tonight I realized that I really never did. Lee and I were perfect together.

"Wait you and Lee did it?" Katie gasped, and we all laughed.

"No comment! Ya'll need to worry about your own sex life and not mine." I said.

"I don't have no sex life!" Katie said.

"Okay. Can we just switch the topic." I laughed, feeling my cheeks heat up.

"Want some ice cream?" Katie asked, holding out her ice cream pint.

"Nah. I'm good." I waved the ice cream away.

I wanted so badly to take the whole pint and eat it. Ice cream was my weakness, especially when I haven't eaten anything all day. All I have consumed was water all day and the ice cream looked so good. I did everything if in my power to not grab that pint out of her hand.

"No ice cream? You feeling okay?" Katetlyn asked, feeling my forhead, "Yup. No fever."

"I'm just not hungry." I lied.

I could do this. I only wanted to lose five pounds, then I could eat whatever. I had to do that.

[lovestory]

Kendall.

I stood on the small stage of the studio the next morning, going over the dance moves for group performance for tonights result show. I didn't feel like be here, my head was pounding and I was starting to feel a bit shaky. I just wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep until I had to get up for the show tonight. I wasn't too nervous yet, I was more focused on feeling like crap then practcing in all honestly.

I walked over to Lee as Carrie Ann, our choreographer, was working with another group. He smiled and pulled me into a hug and I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head against his chest as he rubbed my back gently and gave me a kiss on the top of my head.

"You alright?" Lee asked, "You seem really out of it and look pretty pale."

"I feel like crap. My head is spinning and I just want to sleep until the show." I said quietly, closing my eyes.

"I hate to break up your little pow wow over here, but I need you Kendall!" Carrie Ann said, as she made her way towards Lee and me.

I sighed and pulled out of Lee's grasp and followed Carrie Ann over to Lilly Scott, and Haeyley Vaughn. I stood next to Lilly as Carrie Ann headed over to a group of guys. I suddenly felt dizzy and like I was going to collasp any minute. My mouth went dry and my head was spinning. I grabbed onto Lilly's arm and she looked at me as she grabbed my waist, to help me stand up.

"Are you alright?" Lilly asked.

"I feel like I am going to pass out." I closed my eyes and tried to steady myself, "I'm okay."

"Why don't you sit." Lilly suggested.

"No, I'm okay. I'll be okay." I gave her a weak smile, and she nodded unassuringly.

I let go of Lilly and regained my composure a bit. The spinning got worse and the next thing I knew the room went black and I heard gasps.

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I sat in a nearby hospital, hooked up to an IV. Apparently I passed out from not enough food in me and they rushed me straight to the hospital to make sure everything was alright. Needless to say my secret was out and I just wanted to crawl up in a ball and just make everything disappear.

My dad was walking around the hospital, getting coffee for him and my mom. My mom sat in the chair, besides my bed and needless to say she was really upset about what happened. Seeing how upset my parents were made me feel like complete shit. I never meant to hurt anybody. I was being selfish and just wanted to be skinnier and look better. I never meant for this to happen.

"How long has this been going on?" My mom asked quietly, grabbing my hand and squeezing it lightly.

"Honestly, only a couple of days. I didn't mean for this to happen." I said, leaning my head against the pillow on th bed and closing my eyes.

"Honey, why did you do this?" My mom asked, her voice cracked a bit.

"I got a text from Kyle and he told me that I was fat and looked horrible. I let that get to me and didn't want America to see a fat blob on tv. I am surronded by all these gorgeous girls, with the perfect bodies and I realized that Kyle was right and I am fat." I told her.

"Kendall, you are a beautiful young girl and Kyle will say or do anything to put you down. You have so much going for you. You have family and friends who love you, fans who are rooting for you, and a boy who thinks the world of you. You can't let Kyle control your life. He's history and you are too good for him."

"I'm sorry." I cried, "I'm sorry for putting you and dad through this. I never meant to scare you and seeing you upset kills me. I was selfish and did this because I listened to some jerk. Some jerk who doesn't even matter and who isn't part of my life anymore. I screwed everything up."

"Honey, you can't do this to yourself anymore. You have to promise dad and me that this is never going to happen again. You can't do this. It's not healthy."

"I promise." I whispered, wiping my tears.

My mom stood up and leaned down hugging me tightly. I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in her shoulder as I cried. She kissed the top of my head and told me that she loved me and was scared for me. I felt like crap for doing this to her and my dad. The two people who have done nothing but love me and support me and I did this to them.

"I'm sorry mom." I whispered.

"It's okay. It's okay." She said.

I couldn't believe how stupid I was. Why did I ever think this would be a good idea? I allowed Kyle to get in my head and that was exactly what he wanted. I let him win.

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The hospital released me about an hour later and I headed back to the studio. The producers of the show wanted to talk to me about what happened and I was freaking out. I wasn't sure what was going to happen. Did I just ruin my chances of being on the show over something so stupid? I didn't know what would be the outcome, but I felt so uneasy about it.

I knocked on the door softly and heard someone tell me to come in. I opened the door and walked in, slowly. The producer, Ken, was seated at his desk and I nervously sat down on the chair across from his desk. He looked up from his computer and stared at me.

"How are you feeling?" Ken asked.

"Much better. Thanks." I said.

"I heard about everything that happened, obviously and your health is what is most important at this point. I'm happy to have you on this show, but I discussed this with a bunch of people and I need to know that you are okay." Ken said.

"I am. There was just a lot going on and I let somethings get in my head. It was stupid and I realize that I screwed things up and I want to apologize to you." I told him.

"Kendall, we just want to make sure that your okay. This is a serious issue and if you continue doing this I don't think that this is the place for you to be and I think that you should get some help. I need you to be completely honest with me."

"I am being honest. I want this more then anything and I won't do anything to screw this up. I was stupid and messed up, but I won't do it again. I realized what I did just hurt me and the people around me. I listened to other people who wanted to get in my head and I realized that he wanted me to fail and I just gave him everything he wanted. I'm not going to let him win this." I explained.

"I believe you, but I want you to know that I am going to be keeping an eye on you. Like I said before, your health is much more important then singing."

"Okay." I nodded.

"If you continue doing this to yourself, I am going to have to send you home to get some help. I don't want to be the bad guy here and I don't want to sound harsh, but we can't have you here if you are hurting yourself." Nigel said, as he stared at me.

"I understand completely and it's not going to happen again. Thank you for giving me another chance." I said, smiling a bit.

"Don't listen to the ignorant comments that people say to you. People are just jealous." Nigel smiled.

"I'm focusing on the competition now." I nodded.

"Good. No go head to hair and make up and get ready for the show. You only have an hour." Nigel said.

"Thank you again!"

Kyle wasn't going to win.

[caitlynj]

I'm glad she's okay and I love the last sentence of this last chapter.

[lovestory]

Kendall.

I sat on the couch backstage. I was dressed and had my hair and make up done. Everyone was catering to me and treating me as if I were going to break. Everyone was so nervous for me and I feel so bad that I put everybody through that. I just wanted tonight to be over, so I could go and sleep. The show was on the back of my mind right now. I wanted to win, but I had other things on my mind right now. I just needed to sleep the guilt of what I did off. I felt like crap.

Lee walked over and sat down on the couch next to me. I didn't really talk to him, since I got back. I was rushed to hair and make up and all the other contestants were rushing by my side to make sure I was okay. Yes, he came over and gave me a hug and kiss and asked me if I was okay, but we haven't had a real conversation.

"I'm sorry." I said, looking down at my hands that were rested on my lap.

"If I ever come across Kyle, I am going to make sure that I mess his pretty boy face up." Lee said, and I smiled.

"My mom and me decided that I should block his number from my phone, that way he can't get a hold of me and if he somehow does then I will change numbers. I don't need to be harassed anymore by him. He is no longer my boyfriend and he has no control over what I do." I said, looking up at him.

"He should have never had any control over you. Kyle's a bully. Any guy who harasses a girl is a piece of shit. I just want to know that you are okay and that you aren't going to do something crazy like that again," Lee said. "You really had me scared."

"I promise I won't ever do anything like that. I'm sorry." I sighed, "I feel like complete shit for doing it. I put you, my family, and my friends through a lot today. You guys don't need it, especially you. You have a lot of stress with this whole thing."

"We both do." He nodded, "As long as your okay. I'm happy."

"I'm good. Thanks." I nodded.

"Kyle's just jealous that he lost a awesome girl to a guy like me." Lee whispered, pulling me closer to him.

"I'm liking your whole argyle sweater and fitted jeans look. It's about time you got some jeans that don't slid down on you." I grinned.

"I have a belt on." He smirked, "That's the key. These wardrobe people really show me the ropes."

"I'll try it sometime." I said, nudging his leg.

"I'm glad you're feeling better. I was honestly scared." Lee said.

"I'm sorry I scared you. I was stupid."

"You were, but we all are sometimes." Lee said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder, "You're cute so I will forgive you."

"I kinda love you." I said, giving him a quick kiss.

"I love you too." He kissed my forehead.

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I sat on the couches on the stage as Ryan went through the contestants to tell them who was safe and who was going home. So far, for the girls Janell Wheeler, went home. Although I wasn't very close with her, it was sad to see her leave because she was a really nice girl and for the guys, Joe Munez and Tyler Grady were sent home. There was still one more girl was going to be sent packing.

Katie, Lee, Katelyn, Lacey, Crystal, and Andrew were all safe. I was happy for them and Lee finally looked relaxed, because during the results he looked as if he was going to puke. Now, it was my turn to feel that way as Ryan went through each girl and told them that they were safe.

"Kendall Thompson and Ashley Rodriguez, please stand up and come to the center of the stage." Ryan said.

My stomach knotted up as I stood up slowly and walked over to Ryan. Not only could I be sent home right now, but I would be beat out by Ashley. The one person I wanted to crush and she was my competition right now. Not to sound cocky, but I think I was better then her. The judges ripped her a new one and they actually kinda liked me. The judges don't vote though. Ashley had the looks and a decent voice, she is a threat.

"Kendall, you sang "Who's Loving You". The judges all liked it and Simon thought it was the best of the night." Ryan read off his card.

I smiled and nodded.

"Ashley you sang, "Happy". The judges thought the song was two big for you and it was the wrong song choice."

I looked over at Ashley and she gave a small smile and shrugged, before putting her arm around my shoulders. Wow! Way to put on an act for the cameras. If only America knew what kinda of psycho bitch she was.

"Kendall." Ryan said.

My stomach dropped and I looked up at him, waiting for him to tell me if I was safe or going home. I didn't want the mind games right now and it seemed like it was taking forever for him to just say either thing. I was about to rip the damn card out of his hand and read the results.

"Ryan." I said softly.

"Kendall, you are safe my dear. Ashley you are heading home I am sorry." Ryan said.

Everyone cheered and I gave Ashley a quick hug, then headed over to the couches. I immediatly hugged Katie tightly as it felt like the world was lifted off my shoulders for that moment in time. I was here for another week and I was going to try and kill it.

"Congratulations!" Katie said.

"You're stuck with me for another week, atleast." I laughed softly.

"Ben and Jerry's and a movie tonight?" She asked.

"Definately!" I nodded.

I smiled as we turned our attention to Ashley who was singing her final song, my arm around Katie. We all walked out onto the stage after her performance to tell her goodbye and congratulate one another. Ryan stood on the stage telling the viewers goodnight and giving the times for he show the next week.

I walked over to Lee and Andrew and hugged them both.

"They had me worrying there." Lee said.

"Me too. Me too." I laughed.

"Wanna go grab something to eat with Andrew, Alex, and me? Bring Katie and whoever else you want." Lee asked.

"Sorry, I already promised Katie to have a night of ice cream and chick flicks. I'll take a rain check though." I said.

"Alright." Lee smiled, placing his hand on my back.

Ashley made her way over to us and hugged Andrew and Lee. She was crying and I have to say I felt kinda bad for the girl. She wasn't too good last night, but their were others who were much worse then her and as much as I couldn't stand her, she did deserve to stay over a few of the other contestants.

She let go of Lee and turned to me, wiping her eyes. I reached out and gave her a hug. I was going to be the bigger person and not hold anything against her. This was a time I wanted to remember and have fun, not hold grudges and hate people for things that happened in the past. Stupid things that won't matter in the future.

"I'm sorry for being such bitch to you." She said softly.

"It's all good. No hard feelings here." I smiled, letting go of her.

"Kick some butt guys. I am rooting for you guys," She smiled, "And you don't let stupid boys or girls like me bring you down."

"I won't." I smiled.

"I was jealous and insecure, because you are gorgeous and have a fantastic voice and I just felt intimidated. I'm sorry for being such a bitch." She apologized.

"I told you it's all good! You're gorgeous and talented too, don't be intimdated by others. You'll make it." I said.

"I hope." She sighed.

If you told me earlier today that Ashley and I would have a civil conversation and actually get along, I would have laughed in your face. I had to admit though, it was a nice ending to a crazy day. I wasn't a mean girl and would much rather have friends then enemies, but I would be lying if I said I saw it coming.

[caitlynj]

yay Kendall made it...

[lovestory]

Kendall.

It had been two weeks since the first week of the finals started. I made the cut each week and was now in the Top 12 with 11 of the most amazing people I have ever met. Sadly, last week Katelyn was sent packing and so was one of Lee's really good friends Alex. It was tough, but in the end I know I will see them again and it's a competition. A competition that I wanted to win.

The top eleven consisted of Katie, Andrew, Lee, Lacey, Crystal, and Aaron. Five other amazing people who I have grown close to in the past couple of days, were also apart of it.

Casey James, was the bluesy rock singer, and one of the loudest and sweetest people I met throughout the competition. He is always off in his own little world, but he is always there for a great laugh. We all make fun of him for having the good hair and looks. He earned the nickname princess among us.

Then there is Didi Benami. Didi is the emotional one and always ends up crying after her performances. She has a jazz vibe about her voice and she is one of the most sincere, beautiful people that I have ever met. She's super bubbly and loud. She's one of those people you can hear from another room and know exactly who it is. She's a really cool girl.

Michael Lynch or as we all call him Big Mike, is kinda the father of the group. He is always encouraging us to do our best and when something goes wrong he is the first person there to comfort you. He has an amazing sense of humor and a great personality. The guy is always happy and I love being around him. He can make me laugh in any situation and when I am having a bad day, he always tries to make me look at the positive. Next to Lee, Big Mike is the one person that can always make me feel better.

Paige Miles, is the girl with the big voice. Despite the judges ripping her apart each week, she always has a smile on her face. She always looks at the brightside of things and no matter what the judges say, the girl can sing her butt off. We weren't close at all in the semi-finals, mostly because she was good friends with Ashley. I got to know her though and we immediately hit it off.

Last but not least in any way is, Tim Urban. Where do I even begin with Tim? He's the contestant that all the little girls love and think is cute and he is probably the most adorable kid, next to my little buddy Aaron Kelly. No matter what Tim always has his gorgeous smile on his face. Whether the judges are praising him or ripping him apart (and they have been ripping him apart) the kid always has a smile on his face. You can't help, but not to love him and if I was a single, seventeen year old girl I would be in love with him.

Since we are now the finalist, we got to move out of our hotel and into our own apartment complex that the show provides for us. These aren't just apartments though, the show really hooked us up. In past years the contestants got to live together in a mansion, but I was content with this. We had everything here and I was liking it. We had a whole floor to ourselves and were paired up with somebody. My roomie was Katie and her mom, since she was still a minor. I didn't mind though, her mom was really cool and wasn't around much anyway.

Even though everyone had their own place, we all ended up going back and forth between everyones places and it was like we all lived together. We had a huge slumber party the first night at our place with all the girls and it was a blast. I was having the time of my life.

I sat on my bed, looking over my sheet music for this weeks show. It was Rolling Stones week and I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't nervous. Rolling Stones weren't the type of music I sang too often, however I found a song that I can arrange for my voice and do my thing. The judges for the past two weeks have been telling me they want to see my personality, so that is what I am going to do on Tuesday. I was going to change it up and hope that they liked what I did.

I looked up when there was a knock on the door and Katie walked in.

"You're still going over your song? You've been doing that for like three hours." Katie laughed, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"I just wanna make sure it's perfect." I said.

"Come over to Lee and Andrew's apartment for a little bit. They made a bunch of food for everyone." Katie said, "Drew just texted me."

"Okay. I'll meet you over there. Just let me get dressed." I said.

"Yay! I'm not sure I trust Lee and Andrew's cooking though." Katie said, as she stood up and headed towards my door.

"Knowing them they either grilled something or ordered friggen pizza and said they made it." I smiled, standing up off my bed and walking over to my dresser.

"I'll meet you over there." Katie said, walking out of my room and closing the door behind her.

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I walked into Lee and Andrew's apartment a little while later. I heard voices coming from the kitchen and walked in there. Andrew and Katie were standing in the kitchen talking. I smiled and waved to them.

"Look who's here!" Andrew said, hugging me.

"What kinda food did ya'll make?" I asked, pulling down my shirt.

"Hello to you too." Andrew laughed.

"You know I only come here for the food. I could give a crap about you boys." I smirked, "Where is Lee?"

"He's in his room taking a nap, like always." Andrew teased, "The dude has got it bad. I kinda have beef with you, because you stole my boy from me. He was my buddy before he was your boyfriend and now I have to share him with you. I'm jealous."

"Dude, he like cheats on me with you." I laughed, "If Lee had to have either one of us kicked off. He would pick me. You're his true girlfriend Andrew, don't worry."

"So, is anybody else coming?" Katie asked.

"Everybody. We're going to have a nice dinner." Andrew said.

"I'm gonna go get Lee. He needs to wake his sorry ass up." I said.

I walked out of the kitchen and down the hall to Lee's room. I opened the door and saw him, sound asleep on his bed. The guy slept every chance he got. You would find Lee sleeping at rehersals, before a show, after a show. Whenever he could. He could fall asleep anywhere at anytime.

I stepped over all the clothes that was thrown all over his floor and climbed on his bed and leaned over him and kissed his cheek. He groaned and pulled the covers over his head.

"Get up lazy butt!" I smacked his arm.

"No." He mumbled.

"I didn't come here to watch you sleep, now get up!" I said, standing up and pulling the covers off him.

"Kendall." He groaned.

I smiled and jumped on the bed and bounced up and down, before jumping on him.

"Dammit." He sighed, "I'm getting pissed off."

"My poor baby!" I kissed his forhead.

He rolled over so that he was laying on his back. I laid on his stomach and looked down at him, smiling.

"You're a pain in my ass." He said.

"Get up and ready. Everyone's coming over for dinner, so no walking around in your boxers. Little Katie and Aaron do not need to see that." I laughed.

I sat up and allowed him to climb out of bed. He grabbed his clothes off the floor and headed into his bathroom without a word, he slammed the door and I laughed to myself. He has got to be the biggest baby when it comes to waking up. I thought I was bad, but he was even worse. Every morning me and him are at eachothers throats becuase we are awful morning people, but no matter what he says he is ten times worse then me. This just proves that I am right.

I climbed off his bed and headed out of his room and back into the kitchen.

"Did he yell at you?" Andrew grinned.

"Of course. He's pouting as he is getting dressed." I laughed, "He's so damn stubborn."

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After dinner I headed outside the sliding glass doors to the patio, where Lee was sitting and smoking a cigarette. I pulled Lee's hoodie, that he let me borrow, closer to me as I headed over to the empty chair next to him and sat down.

"What brings you out here?" He asked.

"I could be asking you the same thing." I said.

"I needed to just get away from everybody and everything for a couple minutes and just think." Lee shrugged.

"You alright?" I asked.

"Yeah." He nodded, taking a puff of his cigarette, "What's going to happen with us?"

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

"I mean think about it. Only one of us can win and one of us will possibly head back home. What are we going to do after this whole show? It kinda freaks me out a bit to be honest." Lee said, looking at me.

"Even if I don't win, I'm not moving back to Savannah. I'm staying here because I realized this is where I meant to be. I may move back home for a little bit, but I will eventually move out here. This is my dream and I am not going to give up if I lose. This whole show is just the beginning. The platform to start our careers." I told him.

"I don't wanna lose you." He said, putting out his cigarette in the ash tray that was on the table.

"You're not going to." I smiled, "You're stuck with me!"

"I think I can live with that."

I leaned over and gave him a quick kiss. He stood up and grabbed my wrists, pulling me up next to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and his arms went around my waist. I kissed his jaw, then buried my face in his neck.

"Let's go to my room." Lee said.

"Everyone's here. I'm not having sex with you." I sighed, lifting my head and looking at him.

"Let's go to yours then." He smirked.

"Cause that wouldn't be obvious. Keep it in your pants lover boy." I patted his stomach and let go of him, " Let's go back inside."

"Fine. I'll take a raincheck on the sex though."

"I never offered, therefore there is no raincheck." I laughed, "Now, stop thinking about sex 24/7."

"I'm a guy. It's in my blood."

I rolled my eyes and headed back inside.

Boys.

[caitlynj]

they are so cute together.

[lovestory]

Kendall.

I was in rehersals the following morning, going over my song for what seemed like the millionth time. I sat in the corner of the room on the floor, as Debra and Michael Orland worked with Lacey on her song. Rehersals were always so long and a lot of times we ended up just napping, eating, or hanging out until our time to reherse.

"I have something to tell you."

I looked up from my paper and saw Didi walking over to me. Knowing Didi this urgent news was probably something to do with what happened on Grey's Anatomy or something. As much as I adored the girl, right now I needed my own time right now. I didn't feel like discussing whatever she wanted to talk about, not right now anyway. I'm not trying to be a bitch, but this is so important to me and I just want to focus on my song for a little bit before I got off and joke around with the other Idols.

"What?" I softly asked.

"I was just talking to Lee and he was saying how his father and brother just landed and are heading to the apartments." Didi said, sitting down on the floor next to me.

"I'm aware that they are coming in today." I said, smiling and putting my sheet music down.

"That's not what I need to tell you! Apparently his ex-girlfriend came along with them to see the show."

"Wait what?" I asked, my eyes widened.

"I don't know. That's what he was telling Andrew and Mike. He said something about not mentioning any of it to you, because you will freak out and that him and Amber are just friends and have been friends for a long time and he wanted her to come out and see the show."

"So, he just kinda kept this whole thing a secret from me and expects me not to find out?" I scoffed, feeling my blood boiling as I glanced over at Lee, "Is he really that stupid? Does he really think that is cool to keep that from me and try and hide it from me. I'm not an idiot, I will find out!"

"Sketchy!" Didi said, in a sing song voice.

"I'm going to confront him." I stood up, and smoothed out my outfit.

"No! You can't. I promised him I wouldn't say anything." Didi said.

I ignored her and stormed off. I walked over to Lee and grabbed his arm, pulling him away from Mike and Andrew. We were going to discuss this now and here. I was pissed off and I wanted answers. I wasn't pissed that he invited her. Okay, maybe part of me was, but I was mostly pissed because he wanted to keep it away from me. The girl was going to be in my presence for the next couple of days, I've seen pictures of her, I know what she looks like. Does he really think he can pull one over on me? I'm not an idiot. He is.

"What the hell Kendall? I was in the middle of a conversation." Lee said, as I pulled him out to the hallway and let go of him.

"Amber's here?" I scoffed, crossing my arms across my chest.

"Friggen Didi." Lee muttered.

"Don't even blame this on her! Did you really believe that you would be able to keep this from me, Lee?" I asked, shaking my head.

"No." He sighed.

"Then why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"Because I knew you would overreact like you are doing right now!"

"I think I have every right to be pissed off! You invited your ex-girlfriend here. The ex-girlfriend that you were with for three years. On top of that you thought it would be cool to keep it a secret from me! If you just came out and said that you invited her I would have been okay with it, kinda, but you lied to me!"

"I never lied to you Kendall. If you ever asked me I would have told you, but you didn't." Lee said.

"Do you hear yourself? You honestly think I don't have a reason to be mad?" I asked, tossing my hands in the air in frusteration.

"You do. You honestly do." Lee said.

"Alright. I need to get back in there. I don't feel like doing this right here and now. I'll talk to you back at the apartments, if you aren't busy with your family and Amber." I said, brushing past him.

"Don't pull this crap Kendall." Lee said, grabbing my arm as I walked by him.

"You want to be in a relationship and you tell me you love me and how much you care about me, but then you keep crap like this away from me. It hurts." I pulled my arm out of his grasp, "I just need time to cool down, because right now I will say something I really regret."

"Kendall, I didn't do this to hurt you. You know I would never deliberately do that to you."

"I really need to cool down." I whispered.

Lee nodded and I walked back into the room and sat back in the corner. I watched Lee walked back over to Andrew and Mike and sighed. I really didn't wanna fight with him. I hated fighting with him, but he pissed me off so much. Imagine if I invited Kyle or one of my ex's out here. Lee would flip a sh!t. He expected me to be okay with this, especially after he kept it from me. It was just all so strange to me.

I was beginning to second guess this relationship. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to jump into things with him. We have both had trust issues with one another in the past, starting with the whole Ashley thing and now he's inviting his ex out here and hiding it from me.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, have you met Amber yet?" Katie asked.

I was sitting on her bed in her room, after rehersal. She was standing at the foot of her bed, hanging up a dress on a hanger.

"Nope. I don't wanna meet her either. I think the whole thing is stupid and I think he's stupid for doing it." I explained.

"She seems nice." Katie shrugged.

"Well, I think it's kinda messed up for her to come out here when she knows that he is with me, but then again I blame him more because he was the sketchy one." I said, looking up at her.

"I'm sorry. Boys are stupid, especially the cute ones."

"It's just he tells me that he never wants to lose me and that he loves me and cares so much for me, but then he goes and keeps something like this away from me. What else is he hiding from me?" I said.

"I don't think he is hiding anything. He's just a stupid guy." Katie smirked, "From what I understand they were really good friends before they started dating, they dated and broke up and they are still good friends. That's why he invited her out."

"Don't get me wrong I am kinda irked that he invited her out, but I'm more bothered by the fact that he tried to hide it from me." I scoffed.

"I know. It was a shady thing and I heard from Andrew that he is pretty pissed off at Didi for telling you."

"It's not Didi's fault. She was being a good friend and told me, so I didn't look like a huge idiot in the end. He's just pissed off that he got caught being shady." I told her.

"Have you talked to him since rehersal?"

"Nope. He's out to dinner with them all now. He invited me to go, and I adore his dad and brother, but I don't really wanna eat with his ex-girlfriend. Sorry." I said.

"That is so weird." Katie laughed softly.

"Who does that? Am I overreactinga nd being crazy?" I asked.

"Not one bit." Katie smiled.

There was a loud knock on the door and I groaned, standing up from the bed and walking out of Katie's room and to the front door. I figured it was going to be one of the other Idol's, so I didn't even bother to check the peep hole. I opened the door and my eyes widened and I felt like someone punched me in the stomach when I saw a pretty brunette standing on the other side of the door.

"Hi. I'm Amber!" She smiled, "Can we talk?"

[caitlynj]

oh no.....

[lovestory]

Kendall.

"I really think we should talk, because I heard things with Lee and you got a little crazy today." Amber told me.

I nodded and stepped aside, allowing her to walk into the apartment. I closed the door and led her down the hall to my bedroom. I closed my bedroom door and sat down on the chair in the corner of the room as she took a seat on the bed and looked at me nervously.

She was gorgeous and that made me feel much worse about everything going on. No wonder why Lee invited her out here, he probably still has feelings for her. I mean any straight guy would say that she was a pretty girl. This pretty girl just so happened to be my boyfriends ex-girlfriend, who traveled cross country to see him. Lovely.

"Do you want anything to drink or something?" I asked, breaking the awkward silence that fell over the room.

"No thanks. I just wanted to talk to you quickly and just clear up a few things."

"Okay. I'm listening." I nodded.

"First, I want to apologize for coming out here and visiting Lee. If I were you I would probably have bitched me out. I think I over stepped my boundries on where Lee and I should draw the line."

"You don't have to apologize. Sure, it kinda sucked when I found out that my boyfriends ex traveled all the way from Chicago to come and see him, but that wasn't even really what bothered me. He kept it a secret and I had to find out from a friend and I personally don't think that is fair." I told her.

"It's not, but he didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's just a little weird for me."

"He's one of my best friends and has been since we were kids. We didn't work out as a couple and decided that it was better to be friends. I have no feelings for him and I know that he has no feelings for me." She said, "I have a boyfriend back home and believe me he is head over heels for you and that makes me so happy to see. I would never ruin that."

"I love him. I really do, but that one kinda stung today."

"I understand why you are upset, but believe me he is pretty upset too. We went out for lunch earlier and all he could do was talk about you and how he felt like crap for what he did. I don't wanna ruin your relationship, because you seem like a really cool girl and I love Lee and just want him to be happy and if he loses you, he will be miserable." Amber said.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"I just really wanted to clear the air and I want you to know that Lee and me have nothing going on. That ship has sailed and we weren't meant to be. We're friends and that's it. I didn't come here to screw anything up, but if you want me to fly home then I will and I completely understand."

"No. Stay. I'm not upset with you and I really appreciate you coming out of your way to smooth things over with me. I think that was a pretty cool thing." I told her.

"I don't want you to think that I am trying to mess with your relationship. I'm not that kinda girl and I am happy that Lee has found a girl who makes him happy."

"Thanks." I said, walking over to her and giving her a hug, "Thank you for talking to me. I appreciate it."

"Of course. Go and talk to Lee, he is a wreck."

"I will." I nodded.

Amber stood up and I followed her out of my room and past the living room, where Katie was sitting on the couch, flipping through the channels. She looked at me oddly when she saw Amber. I shrugged and walked to the door, where Amber was. I gave her a quick hug, before she walked out and thanked her again.

I closed the door and walked back into the living room and plopped down on the couch, next to Katie.

"What was that all about?" Katie asked, smiling at me.

"She just wanted discuss everything and apologize for what went on. She was actually really nice and I now undertsand why Lee invited her out her, but I still don't understand why he kept it a secret from me."

"Because he probably didn't want you to freak out. He's a guy and doesn't think this stuff through." Katie said, "I have brothers and I can see them doing something like this."

"Well, I guess I just have to talk to him."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lee and I were sitting in his living room, later on that night. I texted him and he told me to come over to talk, since Andrew wasn't home. Here we were, in his living room, sitting in an awkward silence waiting for someone to speak first.

"Amber came over today to talk to me." I said, being the first to break the silence.

"Oh. How was that?" Lee asked.

"Great. She's a nice girl and she told me a lot of things that I wasn't aware of. I realized that you and her are just friends and I am fine with that and now I understand why you invited her out." I told him, "However I am still bothered by why you kept it from me."

"Because I was scared you would freak out and accuse me of having feelings for her, when I clearly don't."

"Well, hiding it from me made me feel like you did, because it just seemed so shady. You don't have to hide things from me. If you do, I don't think it will work." I said.

"I know and I'm sorry."

"I hate fighting with you." I said quietly.

"I hate fighting with you too! Let's not do it anymore." He said, kissing my forehead.

"Just don't keep things from me and I won't keep things from you. We have to be honest with one another, because I can't be in a relationship based on secrets and lies." I told him.

"Deal." He nodded, "I love you so much."

"I love you too." I whispered.

"Stay here tonight." He said.

"I guess I will."

"You can borrow some clothes or sleep naked, whatever you want. I'm not too picky." Lee said.

"Babe, you're on thin ice already. Don't start." I said.

Lee laughed and stood up from the couch and grabbed me. He picked me up and tossed me over his shoulder. I laughed and grabbed onto the hem of his shirt as he made his way down the hallway, towards his bedroom. We walked into his bedroom and kicked the door closed, before dropping me on his bed and locking the door.

"Let's get some sleep. We have an early day tomorrow." I smiled, as he walked over to the bed.

"Sure. If sleeps what you wanna call it." Lee said, bending down and capturing my lips in a kiss.

I smiled against his lips and laid back on his bed, pulling him down on top of me.

I'm glad this fight was over.

[caitlynj]

they are so cute together and that was nice of Amber.

[lovestory]

Kendall.

I stood in my room, staring in my mirror as I pulled my hair up into a messy ponytail and slid on my glasses. I was getting ready to leave for rehersals and it was only seven in the morning, so I was going to just dress down today, because I wasn't in the mood to dress up nicely. A hoodie, jeans, and uggs were going to do the trick today.

I was excited for today. My sisters and best friend, Nina are flying in from Georgia today. They were staying until Thursday and I couldn't wait to see them. They would be here this afternoon, which means I wouldn't be able to see them until rehersals were over. I just wanted rehersals to be over so that I could see them. I haven't seen my sisters in close to four weeks and I haven't seen Nina since the day I left for Los Angeles. It was going to be awesome to have them all with me and to have them meet all the other Idols.

"Are you ready?" Katie asked, walking into my room, dressed and ready for the day.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"I think this is the first time I haven't seen you in a sundress." Katie smiled.

"I just wanted to be comfortable today and I have nobody to impress anymore. I already have Lee and if he doesn't appreciate my ugly days then tough for him." I teased, grabbing my bag and tossing it over my shoulder.

Katie was right though. I always wore dresses or skirts. I am a dress girl, always have been and always will be. I was a girly girl and you can thank my mother for that, since all she would put me in when I was a little girl was dresses. I absolutely love fashion and if I wasn't doing this, I would be back in school at Ole Miss studying fashion merchandising.

"Let's go!" Katie smiled.

I nodded and followed her out of my room and out the front door of the apartment. We walked to the elevators together and met up with Crystal and Lacey, who were waiting for the elevator to arrive.

"Is that Kendall, not dressed to the nines and her hair and make up not done?" Crystal gasped, as she looked over at me.

"I decided to go for the comfort look today. I look pretty hot, don't I?" I said sarcastically as we stepped onto the elevator.

"You're still adorable!" Lacey smiled.

"Did you come back to the apartment last night?" Katie asked, "I never heard you come in."

"Nope. I stayed at Lee's." I said, leaning against the elevator wall.

"Oh, so you had your walk of shame this morning?" Crystal teased.

"It's not the walk of shame if the guys my boyfriend." I smirked.

We all stepped off the elevator as the doors opened and walked into the lobby. All the other contestants were standing around, waiting for the cars to come and bring us to rehersals. I walked over to Lee who was standing around, talking to Tim and Andrew.

"What are you boys talking about over here?" I asked, walking over to them.

"How much we can't stand you." Lee teased.

"Ew. You're a brat!" I said.

Lee laughed and wrapped his arms around my neck and hugged me. I placed my arms around his waist as he leaned down and kissed my cheek.

"I can't breath!" I laughed, trying to pull out of his grasp.

He let go of me and I smiled at him as he leaned down and gave me a quick kiss.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I sat in rehersal later that afternoon with Didi and Paige. It had been a long rehersal day and I was glad to say that we were almost done. They were working with Crystal, who was the last one to reherse today. I got a text from my sister saying that they landed safely and are now waiting for me at the apartment. I just wanted to get out of here now, knowing that they have arrived.

"So, you trust Lee with his ex-girlfriend?" Didi asked.

"Yeah, why shouldn't I? She came and made it a point to tell me that she wasn't after him and vise versa. I'm not worried about it." I shrugged and took a sip of my water.

"I don't know. It just seems kinda weird that he would invited a ex out here. His ex that he dated for four years." Didi said.

"They are friends. I'm not worried about it." I repeated myself.

"I'm just saying that Lee is a good looking guy and has millions of girls in American wanting him, do you really think he wants to be tied down to just one girl? There's a reason he invited Amber out here and it's not because they are just friends." Didi shrugged.

"Wow Didi! That's really unecessary. I'm friends with my ex and there is nothing going on there. Just because girls like Lee, doesn't mean that Lee wants them." Paige said.

"Thanks Paigey!" I smiled, wrapping my arm around her shoulder and hugging her.

Lee walked over and squeezed between Didi and me, holding a red bull in his hand.

"What's going on?" Lee asked.

"Nothing." I smiled.

"We were just talking about how Amber is here." Didi said, I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Didi was talking about how Amber is here." I corrected.

"Can you just drop it. It has nothing to do with you and I am tired of you butting your way into Kendall and my business. I'm not trying to be a jerk, but it's really getting old and you need to just butt out of our relationship and stop trying to stir up shit." Lee said, looking at her.

"Whatever Lee. I just think it's weird and I don't want to see Kendall get hurt because you are being a sleaze."

"Oh my gosh! You are insane. If Kendall has a problem with it she will tell me. I don't need you trying to feed her some bull and have her worry about things she shouldn't be worried about." Lee snapped.

I smiled to myself. I've never seen Lee get that pissed off at any of us, but I could tell he was really trying to hold back what he wanted to say. I don't blame him for getting upset though. There was nothing worse then somebody butting into your relationship and this wasn't the first time that Didi has done this. I was starting to get irratated about it, but I can hold my thoughts in longer then Lee can. I guess he just got fed up with it all and I was happy to see him tell her to shut up, in a nicer way of course.

"You're so defensive. Something happen between you and her?" Didi laughed softly, thinking she was funny.

"Honestly, just shut it already or go away because I am tired and don't feel like listening to you and your jokes that you think are funny." Lee said.

"Lee." I said, softly.

"You're a jackass." Didi snapped.

"Good then go away." Lee said, laying his head against the back of the couch.

Didi scoffed and stood up, before walking off. I sighed and looked at Lee. Paige sat in the chair, trying to not laugh.

"That was mean." I said.

"I'm tired of her. She just likes to try and start crap and it's annoying. There is only so much I could take from her. You can be friends with her, but I can't deal with her. She thinks she is funny, but she's possibly the most annoying person I have ever met."

"Stop it." I gave him a look.

"I'm an honest guy and when she is sitting here butting into our relationship and doesn't know what the hell she is atlking about I am going to say something. I'm sorry Kendall, but that is the way I am." Lee said.

"I would have said something a lot earlier then you Lee." Paige smiled.

"Paige gets it." Lee said.

"You guys." I sighed.

"She called me a jackass!" Lee laughed, taking a sip of he red bull.

"Cause you are!" I laughed.

"Eh. Sometimes. Only when people piss me off, but it's not the first time she butt into things that aren't her business. She does it to everyone and everybody gets annoyed. I just had to tell her because I am sick of it. I like the girl, but she needs a reality check." Lee said.

"Lee, you're a bully." I teased, laying my head on his shoulder.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I walked into the apartment with Katie after rehersal. I walked into the living room and saw Bayley, Leah, and Nina, sitting on the couch watching some VH1 reality show.

"Oh my gosh!" I squealed, running over to them and jumping on Nina as I hugged her.

"Whoa!" Nina laughed, "How are you?"

"I'm so good! Oh my gosh! Ya'll are finally here!" I said, standing up and walking over to Leah and Bayley and hugging them both.

"We're happy to be here!" Bayley said.

"I can't wait to see this hottie Tim in person." Leah said.

"He's too old fo you Leah. You're only seventeen and he's twenty. Back off." I laughed, "Oh guys this is my roommate Katie! She's awesome and I love her to death! Katie, this is my friend Nina and sisters Bayley and Leah!"

"Nice to finally meet you guys! I heard so much about you all." Katie smiled.

"Vise versa!" Bayley said.

"So, what are our plans for tonight?" Leah asked.

"I think a bunch of the guys are barbecuing and we are all headed over there later. If ya'll wanna come you can." I said, "You have to meet everyone cause they are all amazing and you are going to love them."

"I'm down!" Leah nodded.

"Yeah, I still have to meet Lee. I have seen him on tv and heard you gush about him, but I never met him yet! He needs the Nina seal of approval." Nina grinned.

"You're going to love him." I assured her.

"Everybody loves Lee!" Katie grinned.

"Except Didi." I corrected.

"True." Katie laughed.

"I'm just gonna go get dressed then we can head over to Casey's and Tim's." I said.

"Okay." They all said.

It was so amazing to have my sisters and Nina here. I loved all the other Idols, but nothing compares to family and hometown friends.

[caitlynj]

this is really good.

[lovestory]

Kendall.

It was Tuesday night and the first night of the show on the big stage. The theme was Rolling Stones, I was a big fan of their music. My dad used to play their music when I was little and it's something I grew up listening too, however it was kinda out of my comfort zone. I did happen to pick a song and make it my own and I had a lot of help from Debra, our vocal coach, and Michael, our music arranger. I was definately nervous now that the stage was much bigger and so was the audience, but I was excited too.

I sat backstage, dressed and ready to go. I was able to watch the other contestants go on the TV backstage. Overall the judges were ripping the contestants apart tonight. Mike and Katie got good reviews, while Didi, Andrew, Casey, and Lacey got ripped apart.

"Kendall, come on! You're on deck." Debbie said, walking into the backstage room.

I glanced at the TV where Tim was getting judged by the judges and once again they were ripping him apart. I stood up and started walking out of the room. Lee reached out and grabbed my hand as I walked past him and I smiled and squeezed his lightly, before heading out of the room. Everyone called out good lucks and kick butts to me as I walked over to Debbie and she started hooking my micpac onto me.

"Are you ready?" Debbie asked with a smile, as she handed me my microphone.

"I think so. I just don't wanna fall or throw up." I laughed.

"You'll do fine!" She assured me.

I nodded and followed her down the long hallway and towards the stairs that led to the enterance of the stage. Tim came walking down the stairs, with a smile on his face. This kid was something else, he got ripped apart by the judges and just smiled. I envied him for that. When I get told I suck I pretty much end up crying afterwards and the past two weeks the judges have told me that I sucked. So, tonight I had to prove them wrong.

"Good job!" I smiled, giving him a hug.

"Glad you liked it, because they sure didn't." Tim said, pointing to the stage.

"Eh. America votes, don't get too worried." I smiled.

"Kick some butt out there." He said.

"I'll try." I nodded.

Tim squeezed my arm and walked off. I let out a small breath as Ryan walked down the stairs and over to Debbie, to find out what he had to do after the commercial break. This was the longest wait ever. I just wanted to sing, get my critiques, and be able to enjoy the rest of the show.

"Are you excited?" Ryan asked, once Debbie was done instructing him.

"I'm nervous and excited! I just wanna get up there." I said, "I hate you and your commercial breaks."

"I gotta do it." He laughed, placing his hand on my shoulder, "Good luck. You'll be awesome."

"Thanks." I nodded.

Ryan hurried up onto the stage and I waited paiently for my cue to walk on the stage and get set up. I heard them counting back form commercial and the music playing as the crowd started cheering.

"Welcome back to American Idol. Tonight you are voting for your favorite, to make sure that they stick around another week, now hoping to do that is Kendall Thompson!"

The crowd cheered and I got the cue to walk out. I headed up the stairs and onto the large stage as my introduction piece was playing on the big screen. There were a few cheers from audience members as they spotted me and I smiled and waved, before taking a seat on the steps.

I took a deep breath as I looked around the large studio. Never in a million years did I ever think I would get the chance to perform on a stage this big in front of this many people. My nerves started to kick in, when I realized how many people were in this place and how many people were watching at home. I needed to nail this performance to make up for my last two weeks of mediocore, pitchy performances. I knew I could do this. I had to. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as the video ended and people started clapping.

"Tonight, her dream starts here with the very dramatic Paint It Black, here is Kendall Thompson!"

The audience cheered as the music immediately started playing. I sat on the stairs on the stage and waited for my cue to start singing.

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore, I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

I see a line of cars and they're all painted black
With flowers and my love both never to come back
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a newborn baby, it just happens everyday

I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and must have it painted black
Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts
It's not easy facing up when your whole world is black,
ooooohhh oooohhhhh, ohh whoa-ohh, oooohhhhhhh
Paint it black...

The studio audience all stood up cheering. My sisters and Nina where holding up signs with my name on it, as the audience kept cheering. I smiled and blew a kiss to my sisters, before looking over at the judges. They all had smiles on their faces, even Simon.

The audience soon quieted down and Randy started to laugh.

"Kendall, where did that note come from? You slayed that! Kendall is back!" Randy yelled.

"Thank you!" I laughed softly, as the audience cheered.

"There's the big voice that we love. You really went for it tonight and you were incredible! I loved it!" Ellen said.

"Thank you so much!" I smiled.

"I can't get over that note! You're this tiny little thing and you just came up here and owned that stage and owned the competition tonight. I think that a few of these guys should watch out, because you are in this competition now! Keep that up, you will be here for a long time! Excellent job!" Kara said.

"Thank you!" I smiled, as the audience went nuts.

"Kendall, you have been having some trouble these past couple of weeks. You were choosing the wrong songs and the confidence wasn't there. I was actually quite nervous for you tonight, because it is out of your element. However you chose the perfect song, you did your own thing to it, you nailed it vocally. You never looked better or sounded better! It was brillant!" Simon said.

"Thank you so much!" I smiled, as the audience cheered.

Ryan walked over to me as teh audience continued to cheer. He smiled and wrapped his arm around my shoulders and hugged me.

"Nice job sweetheart." Ryan said.

"Thank you."

"How did you find out you could hit a note like that?" Ryan asked.

"I was just at home one day singing with my sisters as a joke and I just decided to just attempt to hit and I did." I answered, "I won't be whipping it out too much though, because I don't want the audience to think I am trying to make them go deaf."

Everyone laughed.

"Nicely done!"

"Thank you." I said.

"To vote for Kendall Thompson call 1-866-IDOLS-08 or text the word vote to 5708. Don't vote until after the show," Ryan said, "Thank you very much Kendall."

"Your welcome." I smiled.

"Up next the pride of Chicago hits the stage. Stay tuned for Lee DeWyze!"

I was ushered off the stage as soon as they cut off to commercial break. I walked down the stairs and Lee stood there, getting his micpac set up. He smiled and held out his arms to me as I walked over to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he lifted me in a tight hug.

"That was awesome! You hit that note, it was insane!" Lee said quietly, as he kissed my cheek.

"Thank you!" I laughed.

"I'm proud of you. You really killed it up there. You have a little punk side to you, never knew that before." Lee grinned, as he let go of me.

"I do it all." I teased, "Now, go up there and kick some butt! It's so amazing being up there." I told him.

"I'm nervous, but I'm just gonna have fun with it." Lee said.

"Good luck! You'll be great!" I reached up and gave him a quick kiss.

"Thanks." He smiled.

I hurried back to the waiting area and everyone walked over towards me and started hugging me and congratulating me.

"Oh my gosh! Are you serious right now! That was so awesome!" I said, as I let go of Crystal.

"You were insane!" Crystal smiled, rubbing my back.

"You never sounded better. Good job kid!" Mike said, pulling me into a bear hug.

"Thank you!"

"Teach me that note!" Katie laughed, as she walked over to me and hugged me, "You were great!"

"Thank you so much!"

I smiled and hugged the remaining contestants as they congratulated me and I took a seat on the couch, between Aaron and Andrew. I grabbed a water bottle off the table and opened it as I turned my attention back to the TV where the show was just coming back on.

I was so relieved that I did good and the judges liked me. I had so much fun up there and I prayed that America liked it enough to vote for me, because I wasn't ready to leave this yet. I was just getting started and having fun with this whole experience. Performing for that many people and having them get into it was the greatest feeling in the world. It was out of my hands now and hopefully America liked it. Now, my focus was on Lee. He needed to kick butt tonight.

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I walked off the stage after the goodnights, with the other contestants. Lee walked up next to me and placed his arm around my shoulder, I laid my head on his chest as we headed back to the backstage area to get our things together and to meet up with our families and friends.

Lee got decent reviews from the judges, the only problem they had was that they expected more from the rocker on Rolling Stones night then what they gave him. They wanted him to rock out and Lee just decided to do a stripped down version of Beast of Burden. I loved it and I'm pretty sure he stole every girls heart with it.

We all made our way back into the backstage room, where all our familes were.

"I'll be right back." I said, looking at Lee.

"Sure." Lee nodded and smiled.

Lee let go of me and I walked over to my sisters and Nina. Leah was the first to greet me, almost knocking me over in a hug.

"You were amazing! You were rocking out!" Leah said.

"Thanks! I had so much fun." I smiled.

"Congratulations! I'm so proud of you." Bayley smiled, as she stepped foreward and gave me a hug.

"Thank you." I hugged her back.

"I want it to be ten, so that I can start voting for you!" Bayley said, and I laughed.

"Ya'll better vote a million times for me!" I told them.

"We will!" Bayley assured me.

"You were so amazing! I'm so happy for you. My little Kendall is all grown up." Nina said, as she hugged me.

"Thanks!" I laughed.

"You looked hot up there! I was like damn Kendall, where did this sexy rocker chick come from." Nina smiled.

"It just kinda popped up outta nowhere." I laughed, wrapping my arm around her shoulder and hugging her again.

Lee walked over with his dad and brother following behind him.

"Great job!" Lee's dad said, pulling me into a hug.

"Thank you so much!" I said.

"Good job! I am actually thinking of voting for you tonight instead of Lee, you're easier on the eyes." Mike said, giving me a quick hug.

"Thanks Mike. I can always count on you." I laughed.

Lee's family had to be some of the sweetest people I have ever met. Everyone from his parents, to his sisters, and brother have welcomed me with open arms. I adored them and I realized where Lee gets his personality from, because his parents are such great people.

"Where's Amber?" I asked, looking around the room and seeing her nowhere.

"She decided to head back to the hotel." Lee's dad said.

"I think she didn't want things to be awkward. I mean ex-girlfriend and current girlfriend together with the man that caused it all." Mike said.

"Shut up." Lee rolled his eyes.

I snickered and looked at Lee.

Poor guy was never going to live this down.