Crazy Dreams

[lovestory]

Kendall.

Today was not a good day at all. I woke up the following morning feeling really exhausted and sick. My throat hurt, my head was pounding, and I felt feverish. There has been a bug going around the contestants and it looked as though, Paige, passed it on to me. I just wanted to sleep for the rest of the day, but duty called and I had to get my butt up to head over to the studio to go over last minute things. I'm just happy it wasn't a performance day.

I laid on the couch backstage, my head rested on Lee's lap. He ran his fingers through my hair as I closed my eyes. I just wanted to sleep.

"Maybe you're pregnant, we'll have a little Lee running around." Lee teased.

"That's not even funny," I sighed, "Besides, sore throat, fever, and headache aren't necessarily the side effects of pregnancy. Not to mention I think we have been pretty careful."

"I know. I'm just kidding."

"Don't kid about that." I said.

"We'd have some pretty good looking kids." Lee said, looking down at me with a grin on his face.

"Can you shut up about babies! Go make some with Andrew if you want them that bad," I teased him, "Little Danny Gokey babies, as Crystal says."

"You and Katie are no better. I love you guys, but put you two together in a room and I want to punch myself in the face to get away from all your giggling and talking about the stupidest stuff in the world." Lee said, "What was last nights topic of conversation? Who's hotter Tim or Casey."

"You heard that!" My eyes shot opened and I looked up at him.

"If you guys didn't scream like two crazy people then I wouldn't." Lee smirked.

"Well, you know. I just picked those two because I know she has a crush on Tim and I wanted her to admit it and we already know that I think you're the hottest guy here." I said, telling partially the truth.

Did I think Lee was the hottest guy here? Yes. Did I ask Katie those questions because I thought she liked Tim? Eh. I mean I'm pretty sure they were crushing on one another, but I also asked those questions because we are girls and that's what we talk about. Hot guys and let's face it, both Casey and Tim were easy on the eyes, but they are never anybody I would leave Lee for. I didn't mean for him to hear any of that conversation. That was my fault.

"It's all good though, because Lacey is pretty cute and so is Didi when she shuts up." Lee said.

I reached up and grabbed his nipple through his tee-shirt and twisted it. He gave me a pained look and grabbed my hand, pulling it away from him as I let out a laugh.

"Ow! That hurt." He rubbed his chest.

"Don't be a smartass and you won't have to endure the pain of getting a purple nurple." I said.

"It's alright if you say guys are hot, but I can't say girls are cute?" Lee asked, raising his eyebrow.

"No, you can look at other girls. I know you do, it's normal to find other people attractive. Just don't tell me, because I'd like to think that I am the only girl you find attractive." I smiled up at him.

"You're the only girl I find attractive, that I love and care about." Lee said, bending down and kissing me.

"Good. We won't have any catfights then." I said, pushing him back, "Don't kiss me. You'll get sick."

"It's okay." He said, leaning back down and kissing me again.

"You'd get sick for me!" I smiled, against his lips, "That's so sweet."

Lee laughed as Andrew made his way over towards us.

"Aw. You two are so cute, it's disgusting." Andrew said, sitting on the chair across from us.

"Are you jealous that I am all up on your man?" I asked.

"Please, I am not jealous of you. I have nothing to worry about, we all know that Lee's heart belongs to me. You know that saying Bro's before Ho's?" Andrew asked, and I nodded, "Well, that applies to Lee and myself. He'll take me over you anyday."

"I hate you." I laughed.

"You know I'm just kidding. You're not a ho and I am rooting for you and Lee to get married and have a Idol wedding and then have little Kendall and Lee's running around, singing and playing guitar. It will be too much for my heart to handle." Andrew said, pretending to wipe away a tear.

"No babies or marriage for a long time, so keep waiting." I told him.

"I'll have your babies Lee." Andrew teased.

"You guys are so weird, I need to get away from ya'll." I laughed and sat up.

"Where are you going?" Lee asked, with a smile.

"Over by some normal people. I'll allow you guys to have your little lovefest. I feel like I am intruding." I grinned and stood up, "Not to mention, ya'll make a adorable couple and I hate to interuppt anything that is going on here. Have fun!"

I smiled and walked over to the chairs on the other side of the room where Crystal and Lacey were sitting and talking. I took a seat on the empty chair besides them and glanced over at Lee and Andrew.

If there was an award for best looking couple, they would win hands down.

"How are you feeling?" Crystal asked, once I sat down next to her.

"I'm okay. Just a little fever, nothing I can't handle." I shrugged, "Just needed to get away from Lee and Andrew."

"Oh gosh. They are definately dating." Lacey laughed.

"They are cute together. I approve." I laughed.

"I'm so happy that they can get married and live together and have little Danny Gokey babies." Crystal said.

I laughed and shook my head.

Crystal and her Danny Gokey baby term with Lee and Andrew was too funny. Crystal claims that the love child of Lee and Andrew would look like Danny Gokey and I had to agree. So, it has been a ongoing joke around here.

I loved all these people so much.

[caitlynj]

good chapter

[lovestory]

Kendall.

"I feel like I am going to throw up. I am definately leaving tonight." Lee said.

The top 12 stood backstage a couple minutes before the show. I glanced up at Lee who was in a complete opposite mood then he was a couple hours ago. He swore he was going home and we all knew he was safe. He did this every week and we always just laughed at him. The guys doesn't realize the size of his fanbase is ridiculous and he isn't going home any time soon.

"Shut up dude, you're not going anywhere." Big Mike yelled, from the other side of the group.

I laughed softly and smoothed out my outfit and reached out, rubbing Lee's back gently.

"They better do me first because if they don't I may get a case of the voms." Lee said.

"America loves you. How could they ever hate a cute wittle face like this?" I asked, reaching up and grabbing his cheeks, smooshing them together.

"If you don't stop, I will throw up on you." Lee said.

"I'll cough on you so we'll be even." I said.

I slept for a couple hours before I headed into hair and make up. I was feeling a little bit better, but still not a hundred percent. I had hope that I would be a hundred percent by the end of the week.

"Alright guys, let's get you on these couches and ready for the show!" Debbie yelled, as she walked over towards us.

"Oh gosh! Can we just skip tonight? I kinda like the tweleve of us being here." I suggested.

"Nice try Thompson. You're cute, but not that cute." Debbie smiled, as I walked past her.

We were escorted on stage by Debbie and all the audience member cheered as we made our way across the stage and towards the couches. I waved to a bunch of young girls who were huddled in the audience, right in front of the couches. It was so surreal that people were screaming my name as if I were some kind of celebrity. I could really get used to this whole thing. Itw as absolutely insane and crazy. Never in a million years did I think I would ever get a opportunity like this.

Debbie finally set us up on the couches, the way the producers wanted. I sat on the top row with Paige, Lee, Andrew, Tim, and Aaron. Meanwhile the bottom row consisted or Lacey, Casey, Crystal, Mike, Katie, and Didi. I wasn't sure how this was going to work out. All I know is that Ryan would be calling the bottom 3 out and one of them would be going home. There was also going to be a performance by David Cook, so they were really going to drag this out.

They started counting back from commercial break and Ryan walked over towards his little stand, near the couches. They cued the music and everyone started cheering as they came back from commerical.

"Welcome back to American Idol. You're top 12 contestants are sitting here and sadly one of them is going to have to go, so dim the lights and let's get started."

The lights dimmed and my hands started to sweat and my heart started to pound as Ryan called Aarons name. I know that I had a good performance last night, but you never know what America thought. The judges weren't the ones voting. All the confidence I had earlier went away.

I sat there paiently as Ryan went through the top row. Paige was sent to the bottom 3. Lee, Andrew, and Aaron were all safe. It was between Tim and me. I had a feeling either him or me was going into the bottom 3, with the way they set up the seating arrnagements.

"Can Tim and Kendall please stand up?" Ryan asked.

I looked at Tim and we both stood up. Tim reached over, and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Tim you sang Under My Thumb, the judges all said that they didn't like the reggae feel to the song and Ellen said it didn't wow them," Ryan said, before looking up at Tim, "Tim how do you feel it went last night?"

I let out a small breath as Tim answered Ryan's question. This moment seemed to be taking forever and I just wanted to stop all this BS and just give us the damn results. I wish they would just tell me if I was staying another week or if my butt was leaving.

"Kendall Thompson, you sang Paint It Black, the judges all applauded your performance and Simon went as far as saying it was Brillant," Ryan said, as he looked over at me, "How do you feel everything went last night?"

"I had fun last night. I don't usually sing Rolling Stones and it's out of my element, but I tried to make it my own and I had a blast with it. I just hope that America liked it and voted for it." I said, smiling to hide my nerves.

"After the nation wide vote, Tim." Ryan said, looking up at the both of us for a couple of seconds, "You're in the bottom 3, which means Kendall you are here for another week!"

I let out a huge sigh of relief and gave Tim a hug, before he headed down to the stools on the other side of the stage. I sat down between Andrew and Aaron and hugged them both as they congratulated me. Lee reached over quickly and patted my leg and smiled.

"We will find out who is in the Bottom 3 with Paige and Tim and plus a performance by David Cook, after the break." Ryan said.

The lights came back on and Katie and Crystal stood up from their spots. I stood up and leaned down and hugged both of them.

"Ya'll better be safe because I need my Crystal and Katie to keep me sane." I said.

"I hope I am safe." Katie said.

"I know you both will be." I said.

I sat back down on the couch as Debbie came over and told us all to stay seated in our spots. I laid my head against Aaron's shoulder and Lee leaned over towards us, nudging Aaron's leg.

"Dude, I know you're a ladies man, but back off my girl." He teased.

"Go snuggle with Andrew and leave and me and my little Aaron alone." I said.

"You're lucky you're sixteen Aaron." Lee smirked.

"Hey, this is all her!" Aaron held up his hands defensively.

Poor Aaron always gets ripped on by the other guys and he always just laughed it off. He was probably the cutest thing ever and I just adored him. If I was a sixteen year old girl, I would definately date Aaron. He's too cute and probably one of the nicest kids.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The bottom 3 was chosen. It was Tim, Paige, and Lacey. They sent Tim back first and it was between Lacey and Paige in the bottom 3. I hated to see anybody leave, but I really wanted Lacey to stay. She was one of my best friends and I would hate for her to leave.

"Paige and Lacey are you ready?" Ryan asked, both girls nodded as they stood in the center of the stage, "After the nationwide vote, the person leaving tonight is, Lacey Brown."

My heart dropped as a silence fell over the studio, a few aw's and claps for her. I felt the tears start to sting the back of my eyes and I lost it completely when I looked over at Katie who was sobbing. Andrew wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I laid my head on his chest as Lacey thanked the judges. Ryan handed her the microphone and the music started as she went performed for the last time.

Once the song was over we all headed out onto the stage. I hugged her tightly as her goodbye video played on the large screen.

"I love you so much! You're incredible and don't give up any of this. This is just the beginning." I said to her, between my sobs.

"Stop crying." She said, her voice cracking a bit, as she held herself together.

"You better call me everyday." I said.

"Of course I will." She smiled, as I let go of her.

I looked at her and a few more tears fell. She laughed and reached out wiping my cheeks and giving me another hug.

"I love you. Kick butt." She said.

"I will try." I nodded, stepping back so the other contestants could say goodbye to her.

I felt someone walk up behind me and place their hand on my back. Glancing up I saw Big Mike standing there, he sqeeuzed my shoulder and I wiped my cheeks. He held out his arms and I hugged him.

"No more crying." He said.

"I don't want her to leave." I said.

"You're taking this harder then Lacey. She's all smiles over there, she's proud of herself and okay with this. If she's okay, you should be okay for her. I know you'll miss her, but you will see eachother again and I'm sure you'll text and call her." Mike assured me, pulling away and rubbing my back.

"It's not the same." I whispered.

"Are you going to be like this every Wednsday?" Mike asked, smiling.

"Probably!" I laughed softly.

"Please America do not sent DeWyze home, this girl will go all dramatic on us." Mike said, loudly and I laughed.

"I'm sorry. I am a baby." I said.

"It's all good. Smile though, be happy you are here! We're all going to have a fun and nice dinner for Lacey. Let's enjoy this."

"Mike, what would I do without you here? You're like a second dad to me." I smiled.

"That's why I am here." He said.

It sucked to see a good friend go home and as the weeks go by and less people are around, we get closer and closer with one another. I had a feeling that Wednsday nights were going to suck.

[caitlynj]

aww she's so sweet and emotional.

[lovestory]

Kendall.

It has been two weeks since Lacey went home and I was still hanging in there. For my top 11 choice, I sang Aretha Franklin's Think. The judges said it was an alright performance, but not my best and for my Top 10 choice, I sang Stevie Wonder's Living For The City, and the judges loved it. I was called safe in the beginning of each show. Since I made it to the Top 10, I would be going on tour this summer with the remaining nine contestants. I was really looking foreward to spend with my summer with everyone.

Sadly, Paige and Didi were sent packing in the last two weeks. I was sad to see them go, but I didn't have a breakdown like I did when Lacey was kicked off. I wasn't as close to them as I was with Lacey. I did come to the conclusion that anybody who leaves now, It's going to be hard to say goodbye too. We all grew so close. We were like one big, crazy, dysfunctional family and I loved them all.

This week our theme was 'Songs from the Lennon/McCartney songbook'. Covering Beatles songs wasn't going to be easy, but I was up for the challange. I was just going to be myself and hopefully everyone would like it. My fanbase has been getting bigger. I never thought I'd see the day when I had people screaming for me, making posters for me, and sending fanmail to me. It was probably the coolest thing.

We got out rehersal early on Thursday and Katie and I decided to bake Lee and Aaron cupcakes for their birthday, which was tomrrow. Katie and I decided to make them each a batch of cupcakes, while Crystal sat in the living room on her laptop.

"So, where are we going for dinner tomorrow?" Katie asked, taking a batch of cupcakes out of the oven.

"I don't know. The guys all picked a place to go and I am just following them." I shrugged.

"Seriously? Knowing them we will end up either at a McDonald's, a strip club, or in Lee and Andrew's apartment with all the girls cooking for them." Katie said.

"Okay, well Lee hates McDonald's so he would never go for that, I like to think that little Aaron doesn't even know what a strip club is and I won't allow those goons to corrupt him, and I will let them starve before I cook anything for them." I told her.

"Why does your boyfriend have to be so difficult?" Katie sighed, as she grabbed the icing container from the cabinet.

"What do you mean?"

"He can't just have yellow cake like Aaron, he has to have funfetti! He's making this more difficult." Katie sighed.

Crystal walked into the kitchen, holding her lap top with a huge grin on her face. I looked up from icing a cupcake and gave her a confused look.

"What's that smile for?" I asked.

"Okay, first are those cupcakes shaped as hearts?" Crystal asked, as she placed her laptop down on the counter.

"They are! I found these cute little tins at the food store and decided to pick them up for Lee's birthday. Make him something a little special." I grinned.

"You guys are sickening." Crystal laughed.

"Yeah, they are." Katie agreed.

"Anyway, I was looking at a few of the message boards and I found out some pretty hilarous stuff." Crystal said.

"Do I even want to know? I mean, the producers kinda warn us not to look at the boards because people say some pretty awful things." I said, putting down a cupcake.

"No. It's not bad, it's really funny and cute!" Crystal said.

"Okay." I nodded, "Go ahead then."

"Well, I was looking at the boards and I came across this one dedicated to Lee and you. They are pretty much shipping you guys together. They post pictures and they even made up a name for you guys." Crystal said, "They named you guys Klee."

"You're lying!" I laughed, grabbing her laptop.

I looked at the screen and saw a picture of Lee and me, that was taken backstage by one of the photographers. It was a harmless picture. His arm around my shoulder, mine around his waist.Lee and I did everything in our power to keep this relationship under wraps. We didn't need that out there. The only people that know are the contestants and our families and closest friends. People that we knew wouldn't say crap. Once the show was over, it would be another story, but right now we were keeping it under wraps.

"That is too funny!" Katie said, "That's a really cute picture."

"Thanks." I laughed, "That is crazy. I'm glad we have some supporters. I for sure would think that girls would want to rip Lee's girlfriends to shreds."

"I'm sure there are a few who would if they had the chance." Katie said.

"I'm going to refer to you as Klee now. No more Lee and Kendall, just Klee." Crystal said.

"Fantastic. I feel like Brangelina or Tomkat." I said, smiling at her.

"In the Idol world you are." Crystal said.

I made a face, before going back to icing the cupcakes.

Never in a million years did I think that people would be interested in my dating life. I know it's just people, wanting us to be together. If only they really knew.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that afternoon there was a knock on the apartment door. I ran out of my room and down the hall. My mom and dad were flying in today and staying for a week. I couldn't wait to see them and spend some of my freet time with them. They have been so supportive of this whole thing and having them here with me, was going to be amazing.

I opened the door and smiled when I saw my mom standing there, with her suitcase. I wrapped my arms around her neck and hugged her tightly.

"Hi baby!" She said, giving me a kiss on my cheek.

"Hi. I missed you!" I said, pulling out of her grasp.

"I missed you too. I'm so proud of you." She smiled, and I could tell she was holding back tears.

"Thanks." I smiled, and stepped to the side so she could come in. "Where's dad?"

"Um. There has been a change of plans and he's not going to be able to make it out." My mom said, looking around the apartment as if she was avoiding eye contact with me.

"Mom, is everything okay?" I asked.

That's not like my dad to just not come here. He's been one of my biggest supporters and he wouldn't just forget about me. Something was going on. My mom was acting a bit strange and seemed to be hiding something from me and my dad just didn't come last minute and never even told me. My stomach dropped at all the possible things that could have happened.

"Everythings fine honey." She said, giving me a weak smile.

"Mom, I'm not five years old anymore. I know that you are hiding something from me." I said, looking at her.

"I really didn't want to tell you this now, but apparently I am not good at hiding things." My mom said.

"Yeah, you're pretty horrible at it. Now I know where I get my lying skills from." I told her.

"Let's go sit down. There's a lot that needs to be said." My mom said.

I nodded and walked into the living room. I sat down on the couch and looked at her as she sat down next to me.

I felt sick as I waited for her to tell me what was up. My family never keeps things from one another and my mom looked so upset about something, she was always happy. I knew what she was about to say was going to be awful news. I was bracing myself for the outcome.

"Um. I don't know how to say this, so I am just going to tell you what is up." My mom said, and I nodded my head, "You're father and I decided that it would be best, if we were to get a divorce."

"A divorce?" I asked, "You guys have always been so happy!"

"You learn things about people sometimes, things that can't be going one when you are married." My mom explained to me.

"What happened?" I asked.

I knew that this wasn't the only bombshell she was going to drop on me. My parents seemed destined to be together and when they came out to see me a couple weeks ago, their realtionship was better then ever. Something more was going on.

"It's not that important."

"Mom, don't do this. What the hell is going on? I deserve to know why my parents are divorcing."

"Kendall." She sighed.

"Mom, tell me what is going on. I'm going to be thinking about this more if you don't tell me , then if you do. I need some sort of closure."

"I caught your father with another women." She said quietly.

"What?" I asked.

I had so many thoughts running through my mind. I was angry, hurt, shocked, and confused. My dad has been cheating on my mom, the man that claimed to have loved us and promised he would never do anything to hurt us. He was the one guy I trusted that would never hurt me, and yet he went and pulled this selfish, disgusting act and I lost all my respect and trust in him.

"He has been sleeping with a friend of his."

"I need to get out of here. I need to process this all." I said, standing up from the couch and walking towards the door.

"Kendall, don't walk away.Come and talk to me about this." My mom called out, her voice cracking.

"I need to get some air." I said, crying now.

I hurried out of the apartment and towards the elevator, the elevator doors opened and Lee walked off. Lee looked at me and I tried, walking past him and onto the elevator, when he grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him.

"What is going on?" Lee asked.

"I hate him! I hate everything he did to my mom, my sisters, and me!" I sobbed.

"Kendall, you're not making any sense here. What happened?" Lee asked, "Breath."

"My dad." I whispered.

"You don't hate your dad, don't say that." Lee said, grabbing my hands.

"Screw you! You have no clue what the hell I just found out. You can't sit there and tell me how I feel about my jackass of a father!" I yelled at him.

"Kendall, what the hell is going on? You're starting to freak me out." Lee said grabbing my upper arms and staring at me, looking concerned.

"My mom caught my dad with another woman." I sobbed.

Lee wrapped his arms around me and pulled me towards him/ I buried my face in the crook of his neck and sobbed. My arms wrapped around his waist. I felt him lean down and kiss the top of my head.

"He's the one man that said he would never hurt me. He said he would always be there and that I could trust him and he does this. I can't even trust my own father."

"I'm so sorry." He whispered, "I don't even know what to say."

"Just tell me that you will never hurt me like this. Tell me that I can trust you and that you will never put me through hell," I said, lifting my head from his neck, "I can't be hurt like this again. Between Kyle and now my dad doing this to my mom, I don't know what to think."

"You know I won't hurt you. I would never do that to you." Lee said.

I trust him. He's different then the scummy guys that I know. More guys need to be like this. He is the guy that I thought was like my father, the perfect gentleman who loves me. I just learned today that my dad was no better then guys like Kyle. Guys that he ripped apart for cheating on me, when he was doing the same thing behind my mom's back.

"Let's go take a nap." Lee said, and I nodded.

This was like some kind of nightmare.

[caitlynj]

poor Kendall. Lee is so amazing to her through all of this.

[lovestory]

Kendall.

I woke the next morning and rolled over in bed and felt a warm body next to me. I opened my eyes and saw Lee, sprawled out on my bed still sleeping. I glanced at the clock and saw that I still had some time before I had to wake up.

Last night was crazy and Lee decided to stay the night with me. He really calmed me down and made me feel a lot better about the situation. That's not to say that I was happy about what was going on and that I forgive my dad. It was going to take a long time for me to forgive my dad for hurting not only me, but my whole family. He really screwed up and I'm sure he knows it. Right now though, I didn't wanna think about him. I wanted to just push that negative energy away and have fun and make my mom feel better.

"Hey." Lee said, opening his eyes and looking at me.

"Goodmorning. Happy birthday!" I smiled, leaning in and giving him a quick kiss.

"Thanks. How are you feeling?" He asked, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me towards him.

"I am feeling a lot better actually. I mean it sucks, but what can I do about it?" I sighed and reached up, placing my hand on his cheek, "Thank you for staying with me and making me feel better. If you weren't here, I don't know what I would have done."

"I'm here for you Kendall. It's all going to be okay in the end. Just do your thing and forget about all this bullsh!t that happened."

"I'm going to try too. I just kinda wish I could be there for my sisters and mom at a time like this." I said quietly.

"They want this for you though. You gotta just go up there and make them proud each week, make them smile at a time like this. I don't even know what you are going through right now, but in the end everything is going to be fine. It may not seem like it now, but it will be."

"I know." I sighed, as sat up,"Okay, enough about this crap and let's celebrate yours and Aaron's birthday and have some fun today."

"Celebrate in what way?" Lee raised his eyebrows.

"It's too early for you and your perverted comments." I sighed, and climbed out of bed and walked over to my dresser and pulled out a box from the top drawer, "I got you a little something. It's nothing too big and I don't even know if you'll like it, but you're really hard to shop for and no we don't really get a chance to go out shopping."

"You didn't have to get me anything."

"What kinda girlfriend would I be if I didn't get you anything?" I asked, walking back over to my bed and handing him the box.

Lee unwrapped the box and pulled out the scrapebook, that I made him. There were pictures of us together and pictures with Lee and his friends from back home and here. One each page it had a different quote. It wasn't anything expensive or crazy, but I thought it was a nice idea. Hopefully he liked it. It took me quite a long time to make it, considering I hardly had any free time.

"I love this! This is really awesome! Thank you!" He leaned in and gave me a kiss.

"Are you just saying that?" I asked.

"No. Not at all. You made this all by yourself?" He asked, smiling at me.

"I mean I had some help gathering the pictures. Your mom, brother, and friends from back home all helped me get some of the pictures." I said, "Your mom sent me one of you in the bath tub as baby. It had to be the cutest thing. My naked little Lee."

"Remind me to thank her for that." Lee rolled his eyes.

"It was cute." I laughed.

"Thank you! I like thoughtful gifts that actually mean something, this is really awesome." He smiled.

"I'm glad you like it!" I grinned, and rested my chin on his shoulder. "Thanks for putting up with all my bagagge. I know you're not a drama guy and I usually don't do the drama, but it just seems to be following me these past couple weeks."

"It's not bagagge. You're just going through some rough times and I'm here for you. That's my job as a boyfriend."

"I love you for being a good boyfriend to me." I said quietly.

"I love you." He answered back, leaning down and kissing me.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I sat stood in front of my mirror in my bedroom, fixing my hair. I was getting ready to go out to dinner tonight with the other contestants and our families, to celebrate Lee and Aaron's birthday. Rehersal went well earlier that day and I was kinda happy to get out of the apartment for a couple hours and get my mind off of everything that was going on.

"Kendall."

I turned around and saw my mom standing in the doorway. I haven't talked to her since last night, she was still asleep when I went to rehersal and when I got home she went out shopping and sightseeing with my aunt, who lives nearby.

"Hey." I smiled.

"How are you feeling sweetie?" She asked, walking further into my room.

"Pretty good. Question is how are you feeling?" I asked.

"I've been better, but I am trying to get my mind off of it and not put a damper on everything. It's hard though." She said, sitting down on the edge of my bed.

"I know." I nodded, "How are Bayley and Leah doing?"

"They reacted the same way as you. You are obviously hurt and mad about it, but overall I think they are doing alright." My mom shrugged and looked up at me, "It was his a twenty seven year old, girl that he was cheating on me with."

My stomach churned at the thought of that. My dad was nearly fifty and he was sleeping with someone who was in their twenties. That is just disturbing and disgusting on so many levels. He broke up a twenty five year marriage and a family, to bang some twenty something year old. That just boggles my mind, that we aren't as important to him as this girl.

"How would he feel if some fifty year old man came onto Bayley or me. It's pretty much the same thing. The girl has six years on me and four on Bayley. That is the most disturbing and disgusting thing that he could do to you. I don't know if I can ever forgive him for doing this." I said quietly, sitting next to her on the bed.

"Everything happens for a reason and in the end it's going to work out. I promise you that." My mom said, wrapping her arm around my shoulder and bending down and kissing the top of my head.

"I'm sorry he put you through this mom." I whispered.

"I'm sorry he put us all through this." My mom said.

"We'll be okay." I told her.

"I just don't want you to worry about anything going on with this. I want you to focus on having fun with your friends and performing your heart out. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I don't want you to waste it away with being sad and pissed off." My mom told me.

"I'm doing my best. I have a lot of great people here, that I can rely on no matter what. They have helped me through so much and I know that I will be okay. There's nothing I can do to change what dad did to you. If there was I would definately do it, but there isn't and there is no reason to sit around and mope when I have this amazing opportunity in front of me."

"I'm happy to hear that." She smiled and me.

"I love you mom and if you need anything I'm here. We're going through this together." I told her.

"I love you too," She smiled, "Let's go out and celebrate Lee's birthday and have fun tonight."

"Sounds good." I smiled.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that night, all ten of us sat in a Los Angeles restaurant. It was a nice way to get my mind off everything that was going on and I could see my mom was having a nice time and that made me feel so much better about everything. I was still upset and pissed off and I know I will be for a while. I couldn't even head my dad's name without wanting to vomit, but I just want to enjoy myself and have fun. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I was going to enjoy it, regardless what is going on.

It also helped that the only people who knew were Katie, Lee, and Andrew and they weren't bombarding me with questions and acting like I was broken. They were still their normal selves around me, but allowed me to talk when I wanted too. That's what I needed right now.

"You and Katie made all these cupcakes?" Lee asked, looking at the table where we put his and Aaron's cupcakes, for everyone to help themselves too.

"Yeah." I smiled.

"You're like little Susie Homemaker. Perfect wife material." Lee said, draping his arm causally over the back of my chair.

"Are they any good?" I asked, giving him a disgusted look as he shoved the cupcake down his throat.

"So good." He said, his mouth was full of cupcake.

"A head nod would have been fine. I don't really care to see your chewed up food." I told him.

"You look good tonight." Lee leaned over and whispered in my ear, before giving me a sloppy kiss on my cheek.

"You drank a little too much, didn't you?" I asked, wiping my cheek with my hand as I looked at his glazed over eyes and goofy grin on his face.

"No." He shook his head.

"Not smart Lee, you have to be up early tomorrow. We have a long day of shopping and trying on clothes for our performances." I told him, moving his beer bottle away.

"I'm not drunk." He grinned.

He wasn't drunk, but he was definately feeling good and well on his way to being drunk. That's the last thing that needed to happen tonight. I understand it's his birthday and everyone that was of age was drinking, but I didn't want him stumbling out of the restaurant and then the media make it out to be that he had so alcohol problem. Not to mention we had a long day tomorrow and he didn't need to be hung over. Birthday or not.

"And you won't be, because I am not taking care of your drunk ass tonight and your hungover ass tomorrow." I said.

"Do you know that song by Jeremih?" Lee asked, staring at me with a goofy grin, "Birthday sex is the name."

"Lee, don't even go there." I said, holding up my hand and stopping him from talking. I know exactly where this was headed.

"I didn't say anything. I was just asking if you knew the song." Lee laughed.

"I know exactly where that was headed." I sighed, nudging his leg, "I'm going to run to the bathroom real quick. No more beer."

"Okay." He nodded.

I stood up and grabbed my purse, before heading out of the private room, the restaurant offered us, and towards the bathroom. I felt someone grab my arm and I stopped walking and turned around, seeing Lee's mom standing there. I smiled.

"Hi."

"I just wanted to catch you while you were alone and let you know that I heard what happened." She said.

I sighed and smoothed out my dress nervously. I was having such a good night, not thinking about anything that went on the night before and now it is being brought up. I didn't want to discuss thsi at this moment. I just wanted to enjoy my night and not think about all this crap outside the Idol bubble.

"Yeah. I'm sure Lee told you." I nodded, not sure of how to respond to her.

"I just wanna let you know that if you need anything or you family needs anything, we're here for you guys." She said, grabbing my hand and squeezing it lightly.

"Thanks. I really appreciate that." I smiled.

"I love you as if you were one of my daughters and I know that you are bothered by this whole thing and rightfully so, but you have a lot of love and support. Everyone in that room is here for you and your family right now, especially my son."

I nodded and bit my lips as I felt the tears sting the back of my eyes. I was so sick of crying and didn't want to do it anymore, but Kathleen wasn't making that very easy.

"He's been great through everything. He's a good guy." I said quietly.

"He really loves you and I have never seen him happier and I want to thank you for loving him, because he has been hurt in the past."

"He makes it easy to love him. He's a really great guy, you should be proud." I told her.

"I am." She said.

"He has helped me through so much and if he wasn't here I don't know what I would have done. He's the laid back personality I need."

"Honestly, if you do need anything or wanna talk, we're here for you. My husband, daughters, sons, me. All of us." She said.

"I really appreciate it. I may take you up on that sometime." I laughed softly.

"Anytime. I know it's gotta be rough."

"It is, but we'll be okay. What doesn't kill us will make us stronger."

[caitlynj]

this is really good.

[alexisgat06]

Love it!

[lovestory]

Kendall.

I finally had my outfits picked out and bought for Tuesday and Wednesday's shows and they were being taken back to the studio, by the stylist. So, while some of the other contestants were still going around looking for their outfits, Casey, Mike, Katie, and me all headed to get something to eat in the food court.

"Do you still talk to Lacey?" Mike asked, as he sat down next to Casey.

"Actually, I haven't talked to her in like over a week. I text her and get nothing back, she's probably just really busy or something." I shrugged.

Casey, Katie, and Mike all looked at one another and gave eachother looks. I looked between the three of them, completely confused about what was going on. Did I say something wrong?

"What are those looks all about?" I asked and popped a french fry in my mouth.

"As your friend I think you should know that she is going around and saying that she hooked up with Lee and she keeps texting Lee. Before you get upset, realize that Lee has been ignoring her." Casey said.

"Wait! Back track on everything that you just said! Who is she telling all that stuff about Lee too?" I asked.

"All of us. She is also saying that Lee hooked up with her, because you were hooking up with Tim and Lee got jealous." Katie said, "The girl is insane!"

"Oh my gosh!" I laughed, "For one I know that her and Lee never hooked up, because Lee is constantly with me. Unless they started getting down for the two minutes I was on stage then I guess it never happened. As for Time and me, that has to be the funniest thing I have ever heard!"

"She's jealous, because from semi finals she has been trying to get in Lee's pants and she thinks that if she feeds us all this bull, that she will get him in the end. She told Lee about the whole Tim and you theory she has." Mike said.

"She is seriously crazy! I feel like a idiot for crying so hard when she left, I am about to celebrate that she is gone now! Some friend!" I shook my head and smiled.

"My man Lee's a player! All the girls here wanted him at some point in time." Casey laughed.

"I know." Mike laughed.

"What is she texting Lee?" I asked.

"She keeps telling him that she is flying out in a couple of weeks and she really wants to visit him and have sleepovers and all this crap. Lee is completely creeped out by it and hasn't answered one text back." Casey explained to me.

"I'm not worried about Lee. I know that he will do the right thing, but this girl needs to realize that he is my boyfriend and if she doesn't back off I will flip a shit! She's coming out in two weeks for Idol's Gives Back and if she keeps going after him, I may do something." I said.

"Them some fighting words!" Mike laughed.

"Mike, you're a trainer! I want you to work me out so I can have huge arms and scare her off." I laughed.

"Alright girl, we'll start tomorrow morning before rehersal. Be up by five and you can come to the gym with me." Mike responded.

"How about I don't want to work out with you anymore, that's too early." I smiled.

"I tried to work out your boy and Andrew, they lasted five minutes then went back to the apartment to sleep."

"That sounds like them." Katie smiled.

"Are you upset about the whole Lacey thing?" Casey asked me.

"No, more weirded out by it. It's almost psycho the way she acting. She's a really good actress though, I thought we were really friends." I laughed, brushing my bangs out of my face with my hand.

"We all love you Kendall!" Katie said, wrapping her arm around my shoulder and hugging me.

"There is so much drama that goes down behind the scenes. I feel like it's a MTV reality show." I laughed, "I'm glad that the nine of us here are all cool and all the drama queens and crazies went home so I don't have to deal with their crap anymore."

"Cheers to that!" Casey said, holding up his paper cup of soda.

I smiled and picked up my cup and clinked it against his lightly.

I actually found this whole thing to be really funny. I had nothing to worry about, I knew that Lee didn't want anything to do with her. I am better off not having her friendship if this is the way she is. She fooled me, but I was going to dwell over this. I had all these amazing friends in the other contestants here, friends that I knew I would have for the rest of my life.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I heard about Lacey's texts to you." I told Lee, as we stood next to one another at rehersal, later that afternoon.

We were practing the ever so cheesy group performance for this weeks result show. They were always so cheesy, with the worst dance moves. I had fun with it though, you couldn't not have fun.

"It means nothing. I don't know where all of this coming from with her and I was going to tell you, but I didn't want you to freak out and think that I would act upon it. I have no feelings for her and I don't want you to worry about anything that she said. I don't want her and I don't believe all this crap she is feeding me about Tim and you." Lee said.

"Baby, I'm not worried. I trust you and believe that you would never be stupid enough to cheat on me with someone that I once considered to be a friend." I said, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"I wouldn't cheat on you with anybody. Period." He said, placing his hand on my lower back.

"Not even with Joss Stone?" I asked, with a smile.

"Well, maybe." He shrugged.

"Whatever!" I laughed, pushing him away from me,"Not even off the show and you already have girls who want a piece of this!"

"Who wouldn't? I mean look at me. I'm Denzel Washington in the making. I got the body and charm." He joked.

"And you chew with your mouth opened, curse like a sailor, and God only knows what else you do when I am not around."

"You don't wanna know."

"I really don't," I smiled.

"I clean it up for you though babe. You should be happy, I respect you enough to not drop the f bomb or say and do certain things in front of you. I'm a gentleman that way and you should be happy about that." Lee laughed, drapping his arm around my shoulder.

"That's cleaning it up? I hate to see you when I'm not around," I grinned and looked up at him, "You're such a sweetheart. How can I not love you for only cursing in every other sentence when I am around or keeping your bodily functions to the minimum. You're the real life Prince Charming."

"I'm glad to see you smiling again." Lee seriously said.

"I have a lot to be smiling about." I said.

"And I'm the main reason." Lee teased.

"I'll allow you to think that." I smiled and winked at him.

Lee wrapped his arms around my waist and squeezed me tightly, before bending down and kissing my cheek. I laughed and tried pulling out of his grasp as he smothered my face with kisses. I couldn't get away from him, he was too strong.

"Stop it!" I laughed, trying to wiggle away from him.

"Stop trying to make babies over there! Save that for your own time." Andew called out.

"Dude, go back to school if this is what you think making babies is." Lee said.

I rolled my eyes and smiled as they yelled back and forth at eachother from across the room.

"Alright you three, enough goofing off and more singing and dancing!" Carrie Ann yelled at us, with a smile on her face, "Especially you Lee, you need all the practice you can get with your two left feet."

It was true, Lee has to be one of the worst dancers I have ever seen in my life. Don't get me wrong, I am no dancer, but he makes me look like Paula Abdul circa her Laker Girl days. They usually shoved Lee in the back when it came to the dance sequences. Let's just say that Lee was much better with his guitar and singing then he was with dancing.

"You work on those dance moves." I said, "Maybe you can charm Lacey when she comes and visits."

"You're such a brat." He shook his head and smiled.

I smiled and walked off to the side, so that we can get rehersals underway.

Time to get to work.

[caitlynj]

they are so cute together and I really hope nothing happens with Lacey.

[lovestory]

Kendall.

Lee, Katie, Tim, and me walked down the street heading to dinner, after our monday evening after rehersal. I must say it was nice to get out of the studio and the apartments for a little bit and just have a nice dinner together. Katie and Tim walked ahead of Lee and me, flirting and being all cute. It was disgustingly cute.

"I am totally going to fix them up." I said to Lee, "They are too good looking to not be together."

"Kendall, just let them be. Don't try and start something." Lee sighed.

"They totally like one another and he is way too shy to ask her out. We all don't have game like you DeWyze." I scoffed, looking at him.

"I have no game, but if I like a girl I will tell them. He will eventually tell her." Lee shrugged, "And if he doesn't then it's his loss. Don't try and get in the middle of it. It doesn't involve you. If it happens then it happens, if it doesn't then it wasn't meant to be."

"Since when have you become Dr. Phil and giving me all this advice?" I asked.

"Since you started butting into other peoples business." Lee rolled his eyes.

"Your grumpy tonight."

"I'm tired and honestly the last thing I feel like doing is going on some double date with you guys. I feel like I am chaperoning tonight." Lee sighed.

"You can atleast pretend to be having fun. Don't act like hanging out with me is such a ordeal."

"Oh please Kendall! Do not even pull that bullshit with me! I am with you constantly and I usually end up blowing off the guys to hang out with you, like I did tonight!" Lee snapped, "I could have went out to dinner with them, but instead I chose to hang out with you and play chaperone."

"Honestly Lee, if it's such a problem then just leave! Go hang out with your boyfriend Andrew, because I don't want you spoiling my night!" I stopped walking, and grabbed his arm.

"You are such a drama queen. It's always something with you, "Lee threw his hands in up in frusteration, "Either your pissed at me because I talk to another girl, you're crying because your dad, or your sitting in a hospital bed because you are stupid enough to starve yourself!"

It took all my might not to reach out and smack him across the face. He was the one person who I thought I could rely on in this situation. He always told me he was here for me and now he complaining about me being upset over certain things. This was a side of him I didn't even know he had.

"Screw you Lee!" I clenched my fists to my side, "Just go home and hang out with the guys. I don't want you here anymore."

"Kendall, stop overreacting about everything. I'm sick of it."

"Then why are you with me Lee? Why are you still here if I am such a burden to you?"

"I don't know." He shrugged, and looked towards the street.

"You don't know." I shook my head in disgust.

"I love you, but sometimes I wonder if that's enough." Lee said.

"You're unbelievable. Go back, we'll talk later."

"No, we'll talk now!" He snapped.

"No! We'll talk later. I am not fighting in the middle of Los Angeles, go home and do whatever. I'm sorry I stole you away from you friends, I didn't mean to be so rude." I said sarcastically, "Goodnight Lee. Have fun doing whatever you were planning on doing, before I rudely interuppted."

"Kendall."

"Bye."

I stormed off towards Tim and Katie, who were standing in front of the restuarant, watching the whole thing go down. Katie wrapped her arm around my shoulder and hugged me.

"I don't even know what happened. I don't know if we're together or what." I whispered, choking back tears.

"He's a jerk for saying those things. I love Lee and he's one of my best friends, but you didn't deserve any of that." Katie said, wiping my tears.

"It just came out of nowhere. Like he was waiting to explode and it finally happened." I let out a shaky breath.

"You alright?" Tim asked, hugging me.

"Yeah. Let's just go and eat." I put on a fake smile.

"You sure? We can go back to the apartment and eat lots of ice cream and watch chick flicks." Katie said.

"No. I need to be out." I said.

I wasn't going to ruin their night because Lee decided to be a jerkoff and flip out. I was going to put on my best face and just pretend to have fun for Katie and Tim.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I walked into my apartment later that night. Katie decided to go to Tim and Aaron's and hang out for a bit, but I just wanted to call it a night. I tried to make the best of the situation, but Lee kept popping up in my head. The things he said were replaying over and over and I kept wondering what he was doing. I hated fighting with him, especially when I wasn't even sure if we were still together. It made me sick to my stomach to think that we were no longer dating.

My mom sat in the living room, watching tv. She looked up when I walked in.

"What are you doing here still?" I asked.

"I was just waiting for you to come home and see how your night was." My mom grinned, as I sat down next ot her on the couch, "Lee came by earlier and told me to tell you that he stopped by."

"Lee can shove a shoe up his ass." I said, kicking my heels off and looking at my mom.

"Uh-oh trouble in paradise?"

"More like a tornado in paradise. He completely spazzed out on me tonight for no reason. He made it seem like I was some sort of burden in his life," I sighed, "He even went as far as picking on me for everything with dad and the hospital thing."

"Oh honey." My mom said, brushing my hair out of my face.

"I guess he's not the prince charming I thought he was." I said.

"Prince Charming doesn't exsist. No guy is that perfect, you have to realize where Lee is coming from too. You know how stressful this situation is and maybe he reacted the wrong way, but it happens. Sometimes you say things to people you don't mean."

"I've never seen that side of him before." I said.

"You've only been together five monthes. You guys are still learning so much about one another and it's not always going to be roses and rainbows." She smiled at me, "You'll hit rough patches and will have to try and work them out. Relationships aren't easy."

"I don't even know what's going on between us. I don't know if we are over." I sighed.

"Maybe you should talk to him." My mom suggested.

"I don't want too. Not tonight." I groaned, "I had enough fighting for one night."

"It'll work out. If it's meant to be it'll happen."

"I love him and don't wanna lose him over a stupid fight." I sighed.

"It'll be okay."

"I hate guys. They all sujck and you can depend on none of them." I said, laying my head on my mom's shoulder, "The ones you love, hurt you the most."

"It's because you care about them the most." My mom said, kissing the top of my head.

"Us. Thompson girls are strong. We'll get through all this boy drama." I laughed softly.

"We will. Just focus on the show tomorrow. Everything with Lee will work out, don't fret."

I hope she was right. I had a funny feeling.

[caitlynj]

Poor Kendall, I hope everything turns out all right.

[lovestory]

Kendall.

I tossed and turned in bed, unable to fall asleep. The fight I had with Lee earlier was eating at my mind. I couldn't sleep with knowing he was mad at me. Most our fights ended in laughs and kiss, but this one escalated to storming off and saying things we both didn't mean. I was used to having him sleep next to me and now he was off God knows where, sleeping with God knows who.

I heard my bedroom door opened and glanced up at the doorway, seeing Lee walking in. I turned my back so it was facing him and closed my eyes. I felt the bed sink a bit as he laid down on the opposite side of the bed. I anticpated for him to speak, but both of us laid there in silence for what seemed like forever. I felt Lee's hand rest on my back and I relaxed, turning in bed so that I was laying on my side facing him. Lee wrapped his arm around me and pulled me towards him. I buried my face in the crook of his neck and ran my hands through his hair.

"I'm so sorry." Lee whispered, kissing the side of my head.

"You were really mean. I never saw that side of you before and I didn't like it." I said.

"I was stressed out and tired and I took it out on you. I know it's not an exuse and it's not fair to you, but that is why I said those things and I am so sorry that I hurt you. It kills me that I made you upset."

I looked at Lee as I rested my head on his chest. He bent his head down slightly and kissed my forehead.

"I love you, even when you yell at me." I smiled, and closed my eyes.

"I hate fighting with you and when I saw you walk away and you were crying, I felt like the biggest asshole ever! I promised I would never hurt you and I made you cry and I am so sorry for that."

"Relationships aren't always perfect. We are going to have fights and we are going to say things we both don't mean. I love you so much."

"I love you too," Lee said, kissing my forehead again, "I couldn't sleep knowing you were upset and I had to come here and apologize. I'm sorry if I woke you up."

"I couldn't sleep either, but now I can because you are here with me." I buried my face in his neck again, kissing him there quickly.

"Let's get some sleep, we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow." Lee said.

I nodded and rolled off of him and onto my side, so my back was facing him. I closed my eyes an felt his arms wrap around my waist and he pulled me closer to him. I placed my hand on top of his and let out a small sigh.

No matter how intense our fights were, I knew we were going to be okay. We loved eachother and were going to make this work. We were both in it for the long run and we were going to work.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The contestants and I were in the studio early the next morning. Tuesdays were always a long day at teh studio. It consisted of rehersal, hair and make up, rehersal, more rehersal, and show time. It could get to be a lot, but we would always try and do stuff to keep us busy.

I walked over to the piano, where Katie was sitting. I sat down on the bench next to her and started playing Christina Aguilera's 'Beautiful and started to sing softly as I played piano.

Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly, i saw debris
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain, I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down
So don't you bring me down today

"You really need to sing this song one week. You would blow them away." Katie said.

"Please, they would give me the 'You can't touch Christina' speech." I laughed, "Besides you're the one who would kill a Christina song. If anybody does it, it should be you."

"You change it up just enough for your voice though and you would kill those huge notes."

"We'll see about that song choice. I love Christina Aguilera and I have nowhere near the voice that girl has."

"Whatever. Don't listen to me." Katie rolled her eyes.

I shrugged and continued to play the piano as Katie started to sing the second verse.

I wasn't trying to be a Christina Aguilera 2.0. I loved her and respected her and her music, but I was nowhere near her talent level. Like I said, if anyone should sing her songs on the show, it should be Katie. She was like a mini Christina Aguilera. She's only seventeen, but she had more talent in her pinky, then most people in the industry. It was insane watching her sing.

"When we get signed, we're doing a duet together." I smiled, as she finished singing.

"Yeah. We should start a band." Katie laughed.

"Yes! Like the Partridge family or something."

"Lee, Andrew, Crystal, you, and me." Katie said.

"Oh it's so going to happen!" I laughed.

Katie laughed and I started playing the piano again. Michael Orland, the musical director, came over and leaned against the piano as I played my song that I was singing tonight.

"Kendall, have you thought about throwing the piano into tonights performance?" Michael asked.

I stopped playing and looked up at him and quickly shook my head. No way was I playing instruments on this show. I have been playing piano since I was seven and guitar since I was eleven, but there was no way I was going to use them on stage. I didn't feel comfortable enough to play them.

"It sounds great with the song. We can quickly change it up and have it ready by tonight." Michael said.

"No, I don't feel comfortable playing." I said.

"I think you should do it." Katie said.

"Do what?" Lee asked, walking over towards me and placing his hands on my shoulders.

"Michael thinks that Kendall should ditch the band tonight and just play with the piano." Katie said.

"That would be awesome. You should do it, that would be the moment the judges always talk about." Lee said, "It's not like you are changing your song. You're just changing the arrangement of it. You can learn that in a hour or so."

"I don't want to." I said.

"Kendall, everybody just gets up there and sings, change it up a bit." Lee said, squeezing my shoulders.

I looked at the three of them and they all nodded their heads and smiled at me.

"Peer pressure. I always sucked with it." I groaned, leaning back against Lee, and grabbing his hands that were draped around my neck.

"Do it!" Katie chanted.

"Fine, but if this fails all the blame goes on you Michael!" I pointed at him.

"Let's go work this arrangement out." Michael said.

Nothing like changing the arrangement of your song, the day of the show. Gotta love live TV.

[caitlynj]

I loved the last line of this chapter.