Crazy Dreams

[lovestory]

So I came up with an idea for a story. It's kinda different and I wanted to write it.

***************



Kendall.

Music has always been my escape. Ever since I was a little girl I have been singing and writing music and recently started playing guitar. Music was what I put my feelings into and it's what I want to do for the rest of my life and today I was getting that chance to take a step foreward in the world of music.

My name is Kendall Allison Thompson and I am 20 years old. I am a junior at the University of Mississippi and am majoring in sports marketing. I was born and raised in Savannah, Georgia and lived in a nice house with my parents and two sisters. My family and I are all extremely close. My sisters are my best friends and my parents are my biggest supporters.

My dad, Jack, is a police officer. He can be pretty intimdating at first, but once you get to know him he is a big softie. I am the typical daddy's girl. I am always watching sports or just hanging out with hime when I am home and have some free time. If you cross me or my sisters or break one of our hearts, my dad will be on your butt. He will do anything to make us happy and tries to be strict, but he is the biggest softie when it comes to us.

My mom, Anna, is a hairstylist and works at a hair salon about a mile from our house. My mom is the strict parent and believe growing up with her wasn't fun and we didn't always get along. Now that I am older I understand why she is strict and it's because she cares. We have a great relationship now. She's always there for me and I couldn't ask for a better mother.

Bayley, is my older sister and she is 23. She graduated from the University of Mississippi my sophomore year. Growing up Bayley and me fought non stop and once we reached high school we became best friends and still are to this day. We share everything from clothes to friends. She's been there for every break up I had and every bully I faced. She always has my back and I always have hers.

Finally there is, Leah. Leah is sixteen years old and a junior in high school. Leah has always been a mini me. When I was in high school she used to drive me crazy by follwoing me around and copying me, but now I am flattered that she looks up to me. We have a really close relationship and like Bayley she is one of my best friends. Bayley, Leah, and me are all insperable when we are home and do everything together.

"The American Idol auditions are coming to Atlanta in a few days!" Leah said, looking at her laptop that was rested on her lap.

We were sitting in the living room, watching tv. I was home from school for a couple monthes and ever since Bayley and Leah read that the American Idol auditions were coming to Atlanta they have been pressuring me to audition. I didn't want to. I had no desire too.

"And what is she going to wait in a four day line?" My boyfriend, Kyle asked.

Kyle and I have been dating since our freshman year at Mississippi. He was visiting Georgia for a couple weeks. It's safe to say that my family doesn't like him very much and I can't really blame them. Kyle has cheated on me and he says some pretty rude things to me, but they also don't see the nice side of him that I get to see on the daily basis. I wouldn't say I am in love with him, but I like him a lot.

"Actually loser, she has to get her wristband and then she can leave until the day of the actual auditions. I mean you do have to be there five in the morning, but I would do it if I could sing." Leah shrugged.

"I'm not good enough to be on that show. I would end up being the first person voted off if I even made it that far. I can't match up to Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, or Jordin Sparks." I said, laying my head on Kyle's chest and draping my arm around his waist.

"Um. Yes you are!" Leah said.

"I'm only here for a couple weeks and I am not spending a whole day waiting in line with a bunch of wannabe popstars." Kyle said.

"So, you wouldn't wait in line with me if I wanted to?" I asked.

"I would if you really wanted me to, but I would be pissed off about it." Kyle said, patting my butt, "Get up. I have to use the bathroom."

I sat up as Kyle stood up and headed out of the room. I sighed and leaned back against the couch and I turned my attention to the tv.

"He's such a ass." Leah said.

"Be nice to him." I sighed, looking over at her.

"Whatever," She sighed and looked over at me, "I still think you should do this. What's the worst that is going to happen?"

"Simon Cowell will tell me I suck and ruin my life." I said.

"You're not going to be told you suck. Please just try it this could be it and you will have Bayley, mom, dad, and me with you!"

"I don't know." I sighed.

"You need to do this. You need to get over your nerves and go for it. You're an amazing singer and you need to put yourself out there. Do this for us?" She smiled.

"Fine." I gave in, "But only if you promise me one thing."

"What's that?" Leah asked, her face brightening up.

"We have to go shopping and pick me out a cute outfit." I said.

Leah popped off the couch and ran over to me and hugged me.

"My little American Idol!" She laughed.

I laughed and hugged her back.

I could do this. I had to do this.

[alexisgat06]

Aw I love it!

[lovestory]

Thank you!

Kendall.

I sat in Starbucks with Leah and Bayley, the following afternoon. We just spent the day shopping for the perfect outfit for me to wear to the audition and decided to stop by Starbucks for a coffee break. Kyle opted to stay at the house and just sleep. Not really a surprise he had to be the laziest person I have ever met.

"How does Kyle feel about you auditioning. Yesterday when I mentioned it he thought it was stupid." Leah said, as she sipped on her coffee.

"He still thinks it's stupid. He told me that I will never make it and that millions of people have the same dreams as mine." I shrugged, as I played with the hem of my tank top.

"It honestly makes me sick that you are with a guy who treats you like this. You are so much better then him and I tell you this all the time. If he really loved you and cared about you he would support you a hundred percent." Bayley said.

"He's just honest." I said.

"Whatever. No matter what we tell you Ken, you are never going to listen to us. I'm just going to say it anyway though. I hate Kyle and I think he is the biggest douchebag I have ever met. I don't like the way he talks to me, Leah, mom, or dad. I don't like the way he treats you and I really don't like the way that he calls you rude names and thinks it's funny." Bayley said, rolling her eyes and shaking her head, "You don't deserve that."

"I know ya'll hate him, but he isn't that bad of a guy." I defended Kyle, something I found myself doing a lot to my family and friends.

"Isn't a bad guy?" Leah scoffed, "He called you a fat slob the other day and told you that you need to lose weight."

"That was a joke." I sighed.

"That's not something you joke about. You don't talk to your girlfriend like that," Leah said, "Not to mention he has called you a slut, whore, bitch when he was angry."

"You call me up all the time crying about the things he says to you and it hurts me to know that someone treats you that awful and you're lucky dad doesn't know because dad would have kicked his skinny, frat boy ass by now."

"And dad won't find out! Half our fights are because he gets drunk with his friends and turns into a real bastard."

"He's a bastard when he's sober. How much worse can he really get?" Leah asked.

I shot her a look and the smile wiped off her face as she took another sip of her coffee and whispered a quick sorry.

"Now, on another subject how exactly does this Idol audition thing work?" I asked, looking at Leah who was the brains behind this whole operation.

"Alright we need to go to the Georgia dome on Tuesday morning and you get a wrist band. They are handing them out Tuesday and Wedsnday anyway on Thursday you go back to the Georgia Dome around five in the morning and wait in line to audition for the judges, but there are other rounds of judges you have to get through before you meet Simon, Kara, and Randy!" Leah smiled.

"Five in the morning and it's not even definate that I get to go through to the real judges?" I sighed and leaned back in my chair.

"You'll get through cause you are good. It's too late to turn back now, you have a cute outfit and a song picked out. I will carry you there if I have too." Bayley said.

"This just better be worth it." I said.

------

I walked out to the patio in my backyard later that night, Kyle was sitting at the table texting someone. He has been a pretty big douche all day today and was hardly talking to me. I don't know what his problem was, but I was tired of catering to his every need.

"What's wrong with you today?" I asked, sitting down on the chair next to him.

"Did you come out here to just start shit?" He asked.

"No. I came out here to find out why you are upset." I said.

"Because you are doing this stupid audition. I am only here for a couple weeks and you wanted to spend two days auditioning for some wannabe singing competition just so maybe you can make it past the first round." Kyle scoffed, as he typed on his phone.

"This is something I want and it would be really great if you could just support me this one time. I have sat at hundreds of your baseball games, this is the least you can do for me." I said.

"Yeah, but baseball is actually a career that I can have. Do you really think this show is going to help you with anything? Say if you win the competition, which won't happen because millions of people are auditioning, but just say if you did what happens next?"

"I can't a contract and I get to record an album. I get to perform for people who are fans of mine. I'm not saying I will win and I'm not saying I will make it out of the auditions, but this is my dream. I will never know if I can do this if I don't put myself out there and try." I said.

"Do you know how many other attractive girls that belt out Whitney Houston songs there are in this world. You have nothing special about you. You're just another pretty face who wants to make it big in the music industry."

"That was a real douche bag thing to day." I said, biting my bottom lip as I felt the tears sting the back of my eyes.

"I'm just being honest here!"

I shook my head and looked straight ahead at the built in pool. If I looked at him I would have lost it and the I would have been ripped apart for crying. I let out a shaky breath and looked over at him as he continued to text.

"I'm not going to go to the auditions with you. I think I am leaving." Kyle said, looking up from his blackberry and at me.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I am not going to sit around here waiting for you to audition. I came here to visit you and now you are blowing me off to audition for some stupid reality show that talentless people audition for. I don't support you doing this and I won't go there and act like I do." He said.

"You are acting as if I am killing somebody or something! You are honestly crazy." I rolled my eyes.

"You're the crazy one thinking you will actually do something successful in life." He replied.

"Screw you Kyle!" I said quietly.

Kyle stood up, shoving his phone in his pocket before heading inside the house. I sighed and reached up wiping a stray tear that was rolling down my cheek.

I was determined to do this and prove all the doubters wrong.

[caitlynj]

This is good.

[lovestory]

Kendall.

Tuesday morning rolled around before I knew it. I ended up spending my whole day outside the dome waiting to audition and I had to make my way through two different set of judges before even moving onto the judges inside. I was one of the lucky ones who did make it, but I wasn't getting two excited. By the looks of it they sent through some pretty horrific people who couldn't carry a tune and I was hoping I wasn't one of those people.

Kyle did end up flying back to Mississippi and called me yesterday apologzing and of course I accepted it back with the dismay of my sisters. I couldn't help it. He could be a huge jerk at times, but other times he can be a sweetheart. He went as far as sending me flowers to apologize and called me at 4:30 this morning to wish me luck. I wasn't going to give up because he said some things in a argument that we had. People say things they don't mean when they get angry.

But right now I couldn't focus on him. I was waiting to go in and audition for Simon Cowell, Kara Diogaurdi, and Randy Jackson. I was petrified and felt like I was going to throw up. The biggest audition I have ever had was when I auditioned for my middle school play. Now I was going to be singing for three people who work in the music industry and there is a chance I will be shown on tv. If I suck I will be devastated.

"You're going to be great. Relax." My dad said, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"You have to say that. You're my dad and it's your job to tell me how great I am even if I sound like a dying cat of some sort." I sighed, looking up at him.

"Relax. Just act like you are singing at home." My mom smirked.

I nodded when the producer came and opened the door, telling me to come in. I looked back at Leah, Bayley, and my parents as they smiled. I smoothed out my sundress and walked slowly into the room.

My hands were clammy, my stomach was churning, and I felt like I could pass out any moment. When I saw the three judges sitting at a table and staring at me, my nerves got even more intense and I wasn't sure that was possible.

"Kendall Thompson." Simon said, looking up from a piece of paper.

"Yes sir! Nice to meet ya'll." I said quietly, walking over to the spot where the producer told me to go.

"I like your accent." Kara smiled.

"Thank you!" I smiled back.

"How are you doing today Kendall?" Randy asked, "Talk to me."

"Honestly, I'm nervous as anything! This is my first big audition and I'm freaking out inside." I said.

"We're nice people! We're cool!" Randy said and I smiled.

"He scares me!" I pointed to Simon.

"I'll be nice to you!" Simon smiled and I smiled back and nodded, "What are you singing for us today?"

"Whitney Houston's One Moment In Time." I said.

"Very well. Go on." Simon nodded.

I took a deep breath. I could do this. I had to do this. I had to prove to everyone who didn't believe that I could do this that I mean business and I can very well do this. Atleast I think I can do this. I just don't want to screw this up.

Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel
I will feel eternity

I stopped singing and looked at the judges who just looked on with blank expressions. Was I really that bad? I thought I did really well? Oh my gosh can someone please talk before I pass out or throw up.

"I have to say. I was not expecting that big voice to come out of you." Kara said, "You can definately sing. My only advice to you is gain the confidence. You can sing and you need to show that you know you're good."

"Okay. Thank you." I smiled.

One down two to go.

"One of the best I have heard today. That was hot!" Randy said.

"Thank you!" I said.

I looked over at Simon. He looked back at me then sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You have a fantastic voice and what I like about you is that you are very commercial. You got the look and the voice and you have the likability factor which is a big thing. My only concern is the confidence. The competition gets harder and more intense as you go on and you are going to need the confidence because you are good."

"Thank you. I'm working on it." I said.

"Randy yes or no to Hollywood?" Simon asked.

"One hundred percent yes!" Randy nodded.

I smiled and bit my bottom lip. That was one down and two to go. If Kara said yes then that means I am going to Hollywood.

"It's a yes for me! Definately!" Kara nodded.

"Kendall, you are sailing onto the next round!" Simon smiled.

I covered my mouth with my hand and started to cry. I couldn't believe that I was actually moving on to the next round. This was really happening. I actually think that maybe I could do this. Maybe this was going to be my calling. Maybe I actually had a chance to win.

I rushed over to the judges table and hugged Randy and Kara, who were now smiling. I walked over to Simon and he stood up from his chair and held his arms out to me and I hugged him back.

"Thank you so much! I can't believe this! Thank you for this opportunity!" I cried, pulling away from him.

"See you in Hollywood sweetheart." Simon smiled.

"Oh my gosh!" I laughed softly, through my tears.

I hurried out of the room, making sure I grabbed my golden ticket before I left. I pushed opened the door and walked out of the room. My family stood there with Ryan Seacrest and they all stopped talking as I walked out. I pulled the yellow paper from behind my back and everyone started cheering. Bayley and Leah came running towards me, almost knocking me over in a hug.

"I'm going to Hollywood!" I cried, hugging them both.

I pulled away from them after they congratulated me and walked over to my parents. My mom was in tears and hugged me tightly, telling me how proud she was of me and how she knew I could do it. I could tell my dad was choking back tears as he hugged me after my mom finally let go of me.

"I can't believe this!" I said, wiping my eyes.

"Congratulations!" Ryan Seacrest said, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"Thank you!" I grinned.

"Your dad told me you were pretty nervous to meet Simon cause you were scared he would be mean." Ryan said.

"Simon was really nice, they all were. They just told me that I need to work on my confidence and that I could sing." I said.

"Congratulations again and I will see you again in Hollywood!" Ryan smiled.

I couldn't believe I made it to Hollywood. Little small town girl making it to Hollywood to get the chance to try and achieve my dream. I was in shock and it felt like it was a dream and I was going to wake up any minute from it.

This is what I have waited for since I could remember. I was ready for this.

[lovestory]

Kendall.

It has been a couple weeks since I made it past the audition round. I was finally in Hollywood and getting ready for the first round of the Hollywood auditions. There were three rounds two in which we had to sing in front of the judges by ourselves and one where we had to sing in groups. The pressure was definately on now. If I messed up it could be it and the nerves were already forming. It didn't help that my room mate had to be one of the biggest bitches I have ever met.

Ashley, was my room mate and she was probably the most stuck up girl I have ever met. She already had her group of friends and would totally ignore me. When she wasn't ignoring me, she was making fun of my clothes, my hair, my makeup, whatever. I wanted nothing to do with her. It was like High School all over again and it was the last thing I needed right now. Hopefully she will leave soon.

I sat in a chair in the auditorium of the Kodak theatre, waiting for the auditions to start. Everyone was talking amongst themselves while I quietly by myself. I am a really shy person and meeting people wasn't easy for me. I wasn't one to go up to people and just start a conversation. I wish I was able too, but I just felt awkward.

"Is this seat taken?" I heard someone ask.

I looked up and saw a guy standing next to the empty chair on the right of me. He was cute, a little on the shorter side, but something about him was attractive. Maybe it was his gorgeous blue eyes or the fact he had the cutest smile. Maybe it was the tattoos he had, I have always been a sucker for tattoos. Whatever it was I didn't feel comfortable with feeling so attracted some some guy who spoke four words to me. Especially when my boyfriend was home.

"You alright?" He asked, giving me a strange look.

"Um Yeah. Sorry. Um. Have a seat." I nodded my head.

He sat down next to me and I let out a small sigh and looked away from him as I played nervously with the hem of my tank top.

"I'm Lee by the way." He spoke.

"I'm Kendall." I said, looking at him and giving him a small smile.

"Nice to meet you." He said, holding out his hand to me.

"Nice to meet you too." I said, shaking his hand gently.

"How are you enjoying this whole thing?" Lee asked, looking at me.

"It's really nerve wracking to be quite honest. A big change to what I am used to doing." I said.

"Yeah, I worked at a paint store in my hometown and am used to singing at bars where people are hardly even paying attention to me." He grinned.

"We all gotta start somewhere." I smiled back at him and he nodded.

I looked up when they called my name with about ten other peoples names, to go and warm up. I stood up slowly and smoothed out my jeans and turned around to go follow the group of people who were walking out of the auditorium.

"Hey Kendall." Lee called.

I stopped walking and turned around and looked over at him.

"Good luck." He smiled.

"Thanks. You too." I said.

I hurried off, following the rest of the group.

------

I waited backstage watching as people walked back crying of celebrating after they learned their fate from the judges. I was offically nervous now, worse then I was before my audition. I was so close to making it to the live shows and if I messed up even a little bit I will be sent packing.

I took a deep breath and gripped onto the microphone as they called my name. Here goes nothing.

I walked out onto the stage as all the contestants that were sitting in the audience cheered for me. I stood in front of the judges and waited for my cue to start singing. The piano started playing and I licked my lips and opened my mouth and did what I had to.

I know I'll never love this way again

I know I'll never love this way again,
so I keep holdin' on before the good is gone.

I know I'll never love this way again,
so I keep holdin' on before the good is gone

Simon lifted his hand and I stopped singing as the contestants cheered for me. I let out a small breath and smiled. I did the best I could and was so happy with the way things went. If I got sent home, atleast I went home knowing that I did my best and sang my butt off.

"When we frist saw you we told you that you can sing and you didn't disappoint!" Randy said.

"Thanks." I smiled.

"Nice vocals. I loved it." Ellen said.

"Thank you so much."

"You can hit some crazy notes. You have such a big voice and sounded great!" Kara said.

"Thanks."

"I actually enjoyed your audition a bit more, however you sounded great." Simon said, "And Kendall we will see you tomorrow sweetheart. You're through."

"Thank you so much!" I smiled.

Everyone cheered for me as I hurried off the stage. I was hurrying backstage so I could call my parents and tell them the great news, when I felt someone grab my arm. I turned around and saw Lee standing there with a grin.

"Damn you can sing. Good job." He said.

"Thanks! I feel so relieved now." I grinned, "Good luck! You'll do great. It's not so bad once you are out there. Just don't look at Simon because he has no emotion and I felt like I was going to puke when I saw him looking pissed off."

"Thanks for the advice." He laughed.

"I'm going to call my parents and boyfriend and tell them that I am here for a while longer." I said.

"Alright." He nodded.

I patted his arm before heading off.

Today was a great day!

[caitlynj]

this is really good.

[lovestory]

Kendall.

I sat on a lounge chair by the pool later that night, writing down some song lyrics. Tomorrow was group day and I was probably the most worried about this day. I am not much of a dancer and a lot of these people here had very big personalities and I didn't want to get stuck with someone who needs to practice, practice, practice and I also didn't want to get stuck with people who didn't want to practice either.

My parents and sisters were really happy for me and when I told them that I moved on they couldn't be more proud. Kyle on the other hand could careless and was too worried about going out with his friends tonight to get drunk and do God knows what. It would be nice to have a little more support from him, but I needed to worry about the competition and not him.

"What do you got here?" I heard someone ask.

I looked up from my book and smiled when I saw Lee standing in front of the chair. I closed the book and placed it to the side of the chair as Lee sat down on the chair across from me.

"I'm just writing. It makes me feel better about everything going on." I said.

"You're in Hollywood doing something you love doing. What can be better then that?" He asked.

"It's really stressful and I am constantly nervous that I am going to be cut, my roomie and me hate one another, my boyfriend is being a complete douchebag about me being here, and I miss my parents and sisters more then anything." I said, "Sorry, you probably don't want to hear my problems."

"Well for starters I heard you sing today and you kicked some major ass, and I honestly believe you will not be going anywhere in a long time."

"I hope not." I smiled, "You're not so bad yourself. You have a Kings of Leon type thing going on and I like it. The girls are going to fall for you. We like guys who play guitar and can sing and the tattoos don't hurt either."

"We'll see." He shrugged and smiled.

"So, what are you doing tonight?" I asked, laying my head back.

"I'm just staying in. My roommate, Andrew, and I are just gonna chill. It's been a long day and it's going to be another long day tomorrow."

"I hope I don't end up with some crazy group." I said, brushing my hair of my face and turning my head to look at him.

"Just try and find me. We'll be in a group together and find some other people who are cool like us." He grinned.

"Promise you won't leave me stranded with someone crazy." I said, holding out my pinky towards him.

"Promise me the same thing." He grinned.

"Promise." I nodded, locking my pinky around his.

He seemed like a really cool guy and someone I could become friendly with throughout this process, I mean considering if I am here for that long. I knew he would be here for the long run and as long as I was here I could see us hanging out. He was just a pretty chill person to be around and kept me calm.

--------

I rolled over in my bed as I heard people talking and laughing loudly in the room. I opened my eyes and saw Ashley and another girl sitting on her bed laughing at something, then turned to looked at the clock seeing it was 3:45 in the morning. Was this girl serious? We had to be up in almost two hours to get to the theatre. Did this girl honestly not realize how rude she was being? If she wanted to be stupid and hang out with friends all night, do it someplace other then here.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" I mumbled, looking at her.

"Did we wake you? I'm sorry!" She said, sounding not in the least bit apolegetic.

"Do you think you can go somewhere else and talk? We have a early morning tomorrow and although you may be able to sleep on two hours of sleep, I would like to get as much sleep as possible. You're kinda making it hard." I said.

"This is my room too and I am entitled to do whatever I want in it. Just go back to sleep." Ashley rolled her eyes.

"Are you serious right now?" I scoffed, sitting up in my bed.

"I'm sorry about her. She's kinda a wet blanket and has no friends here so she wouldn't understand why I have someone in the room." Ashley said, looking at the other girl.

"I don't care that you have a friend in the room Ashley! I care that it's nearly four in the morning and if you haven't noticed, we have a huge day tomorrow and I don't know about you, but I really don't want to go home."

"Then go somewhere else and sleep." Ashley said.

I huffed and grabbed my cellphone and key off the table and slid on my glasses and slippers and stormed out of the room, slamming the door on my way out. I didn't know where to go, but I needed to find somewhere to sleep. I couldn't wait for either Hollywood round to be over or for Ashley to go home.

I walked down the hallway and to the elevator and got on, taking it to the floor above mine. The doors opened a few seconds later and I walked off and headed down the empty hallway. I finally reached the room and knocked on the door gently.

The door swung opened and Lee stood in front of me, obviously half asleep. Like most people were at this time.

"You alright?" Lee asked.

"I'm sorry to wake you up, but you were the only person I know and Ashley kicked me out of the room and I have no place to go and tomorrow is a long day and I just want to sleep for the next two hours." I ranted, and I saw him crack a smile.

"Come in. You can crash here for the rest of the night. Take my bed and I'll sleep on the floor."

"Thanks so much." I said quietly, walking into his room.

I walked over to the empty bed and climbed under the covers and turned to look at him as he grabbed a pillow off the bed.

"You can lay here if you want. I'm not going to try anything with you." I teased.

"It's probably better if I sleep on the floor. I am kinda a bed hog." Lee said, grabbing a extra blanket that was on the chair.

"Dude, shut the hell up!" His roommate said, "Why the hell do you have a chick in here? Am I going to have to leave so you two can do whatever you need to do and what about that chick, Amber, or whatever from back in Chicago? Would she approve of this?"

"Shut up. Her roommate kicked her out and she came here to stay for the night. Amber isn't going to hear about this at all because no matter how innocent this is, she will freak out."

"I can leave if you want." I said softly.

"No. Just let's get some sleep." Lee said.

I don't know what it was, but hearing about Lee having a girlfriend made me a bit jealous. I know that I have a boyfriend back at home, but it kinda disappointed me to hear that and now I felt like coming to hos room was a big mistake. It's harmless and we aren't sleep in the same bed, but maybe it wasn't the best idea.

[caitlynj]

keep going.

[lovestory]

Kendall

I sat in the lobby of the theatre early the next morning, dressed in a tee-shirtand white shorts. Today was group day and we had all today and tomorrow morning to practice. Tomorrow morning the auditions would start, so basically we had 24 hours to practice with our groups and to chose a song that was on the list they gave us. It was going to be a lot to learn in a short period of time, but I was down for the challenge.

After doing some searching for a group Lee and I found two people and I was very content with my group. None of us were dancers, so we were just going to focus on the vocals and the two other people we formed the group with were actually really cool. We actually decided on a song right away too, "Get Ready" by The Temptations.

Crystal Bowersox and Aaron Kelly.

Crystal is one of the most talented people here. I remember her audition yesterday and she killed it. She was a really cool girl and told you how it was, but not in a bitchy way. She had a lot of great ideas and was someone that I could see myself hanging out with. She had a mother vibe about her and it seemed like she geniunely cared about us all and wanted us to do the best, eventho she just met us.

Aaron is one of the young guns, but has a killer voice. He's so tiny but when he opens his mouth a hueg voice comes out. He's really soft spoken, but seemed like a really sweet kid. Not to mention he was only sixteen and he was more mature then I was.

I sat down on the floor next to Crystal and Lee as we looked over the music and the parts that we were assigned. I rested my head on Lee's arm as I looked at the lyrics in front of me. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tired. I didn't sleep in at all once I got to Lee's room. Between the snoring from him and Andrew and my thoughts racing I just couldn't and I was starting to feel it.

"I think we should switch and have Lee start out the song instead of me." Crystal said, looking up from her paper.

"I agree with that." I said.

"Whatever you girls say. I'm not going to argue with you guys. Aaron and I will just sit back and listen to you guys." Lee said, looking at Aaron who laughed.

Crystal and I looked at eachother and rolled our eyes and smiled.

"What did we get ourselves into?" I asked.

--------

After practicing all day we all headed back to the hotel to have some dinner, before practicing some more. We were actually starting to sound really good and I was feeling a lot better about tomorrow then I was earlier.

"Aaron, I have a little sister your age. I should hook ya'll up." I said, as Crystal and Lee laughed.

"Is she cute?" Lee asked.

"Yeah. If you like thin, pretty, brunettes." I shrugged.

"So, she looks like you?" Lee asked, resting his chin on his hand as he looked at me.

"Yeah. I guess." I nodded.

"Go for it Aaron. You could be with this when you are in your twenties. Imagine having a girl like this." Lee said, pointing to me.

I looked over at Crystal, wide eyed as she snickered and shook her head. What the hell was Lee talking about? Why was he acting this way right now? He has a girlfriend back hom in Illinois and he knew that I had a boyfriend. Things just got really awkward and I had no clue how to respond to his flirting.

"I'm going to call my boyfriend before we start practicing again." I said, standing up from the table.

I walked out of the hotel restaurant, just needing to get away from the awkwardness that just happened. Last night he couldn't have seemed any less interested and now today he was saying comments like that? It was so werid and I didn't know what to think. I have a boyfriend and even if I didn't, I don't want to be with a guy who is giving me mixed signals. This is just completely awkward.

I sat down on the couch in the lobby of the hotel and pulled out my cellphone and dialed Kyle's number and placed the phone to my ear. I haven't talked to him all day and since it was a normal time on the East Coast and I had free time, so it was a good time to call him.

"Hello." He answered.

"Hey! How are you?" I asked.

"So, you finally call me? I didn't hear from you all day yesterday and texting doesn't count." Kyle said.

"Wow. Nice to talk to you too. Don't try and start a fight with me please. I have enough stress as it is and don't need you starting with me. I've been very busy and you know that." I sighed, leaning back against the couch.

"Pretty much you are telling me that this is more important then me?"

"Now you are taking everything I say out of context! This is a once in a lifetime chance that I have and I kow that once this is over, you are going to be there for me. This competition isn't always going to be there." I said.

"Will I be though?" He asked.

"Don't sit there and threaten me because I am here and you aren't with me. You have to realize I am doing this for me and this is the first time that I have actually done something for myself. How many times have I sat back and watched you achieve all your baseball accomplishments? The least you can do is act like you are happy for me. Give me a little support!" I sighed.

"I am tired of having this argument with you, Kendall!"

"Then stop starting with me Kyle! I call to say hi and check up and just talk and all you do is start fights with me! It's like you are searching for a fight." I said.

"Everytime we talk, it's a fight." Kyle said.

"We're just going through a rough patch. All couples go through this. I promise you that everything is going to get better."

"Yeah, if you come home!" He said.

"Kyle, stop being a spoiled little brat for two minutes and just give me a little support here. You know this is my dream and you are constantly putting me down. I am doing something that I love and if you love me you will support me." I said.

"I never said I love you. I care about you, but I feel out of love with you a long time ago."

"I gotta go." I said, hanging up my phone as I started to cry.

The guy that I have been with for three years and told me how much he loved me, just told me he fell out of love with me. I know that we are going through a really rough time, but I never expected that. I didn't know where this relationship was going and I was scared.

"Are you alright?"

I looked up and saw Crystal standing there. I nodded my head and wiped my eyes quickly, before standing up and pulling down my shirt.

"If you need to talk, I am here for you." She said, placing her hand on my back.

"Thanks. It's just my boyfriend and I are on a really rocky path and it scares me that it is going to end really bad." I sighed, "He doesn't approve of me being here and thinks it's stupid. Is it too much to ask for a little support?"

"Not at all and if he cared about you he would give you the support. Everything happens for a reason and you will find a guy who is worth it. You're an awesome girl and if he breaks up with you, that is his fault. You're too good for stupid boys." She smiled.

"That's what everyone tells me." I said.

"Cause it's true and that boy in there, Lee, is totally crushing on you! It's pretty cute." She grinned.

"Please. I am not even single and even if I were I am not rushing into any relationships. We're friends and I think that is all we should be." I said, tucking my hair behind my ear.

"Don't let this guy bring you down! You have so much going for you and you should enjoy these moments. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and don't waste it by worrying about some stupid guy who doesn't get it."

"I'm beginning to think he isn't worth it." I said.

"He isn't," She said, "Now let's go back and practice and kick some major ass tomorrow to piss this jerk off even more!"

"I'm down!" I laughed softly, "Does it look like I've been crying?"

"You look fine! Let's go!" She said, taking my hand.

"Thanks so much for listening to me." I said.

"Anytime honey!" She squeezed my hand.

I'm beginning to think everyone was right. Did I really need this negative person in my life who brought me down all the time? Did I need someone who doesn't support me in my life? Did I need someone who called names and yelled at me for everything? I have been blinded by everything for so long and it finally hit me. I am better then him.

[lovestory]

Kendall.

The following morning we were back in the theatre getting ready to perform. We were one of the first acts to go on and I was actually feeling pretty confident that our group was going to do well and I was feeling much better after talking to Crystal last night and I was ready to just do my best today and I had a good feeling we were going to be okay. I wasn't the least bit nervous for this one for some odd reason. I'm sure when we are about to go on I will get butterflies, but I loved everyone in my group so I was gonna have fun with it.

I haven't talked to Kyle since our argument last night and all honestly I wasn't looking foreward to. I knew it was going to have to be done tonight and I think that I will be ending it. I couldn't be in a relationship like that anymore. Everyone was right about him not being good enough for me.

"I think I forgot my lines." Lee whispered, looking like he was about to throw up.

I handed him my lyric sheet and he looked at it and nodded. I smiled and placed my hand on his back and rubbed his back gently as I looked at him.

"It's going to be okay. We got this." I told him, "Don't be nervous. The judges like you and think you have a great voice."

"They told me I sucked the other day."

"Only Simon and he didn't say you sucked, he said you were indulgent." I said.

"Like that is any better. If I mess this up I am going home and I know it." He said.

"Dude, what happened to the cool and calm Lee DeWyze that I know. You did like a complete 180, just chill out and everything is going to be alright. Just stay on key and remember your lines. Act like you are singing it in front of nobody."

"Crystal, Aaron, Kendall, and Lee. You're up!" The producer yelled.

"Come on! We got this." I smiled and he nodded.

I grabbed two microphones and handed one to Lee as I walked out on stage, behind Aaron and Crystal. The otehr contestants clapped as we stopped in the center of the stage. I looked out at the judges and smiled as I smoothed out my dress nervously. Okay the nerves have finally hit.

We quickly introduced our names to the judges and waited for the music to start.

Lee:
I never met a girl who makes me feel the way that you do. (All 3: You're alright)
Whenever I'm asked who makes my dreams real, I say that you do. (All 3:You're outta sight)

Crystal:
So, fee-fi-fo-fum
Look out baby, 'cause here I come.

Me:
And I'm bringing you a love that's true.
So get ready, so get ready.
Aaron:
I'm gonna try to make you love me too.
So get ready, so get ready 'cause here I come.

(All:Get ready 'cause here I come) Me:I'm on my way.
(All:Get ready 'cause here I come)

Simon put up his hand and everyone cheered as the music stopped. We all got back into our places, standing in a line and looking at the judges as we waited what seemed like a century for them to tell us who was leaving and who was staying.

"Aaron and Kendall please move up." Simon said.

I looked at Aaron and we both walked up a little bit, so we were standing in front of Crystal and Lee. My stomach dropped as the thought of me getting sent home ran through my mind. I thought Aaron and me sounded good, but Crystal was a judges favorite and I knew they wouldn't send her home and Lee sounded amazing too.

"Back row and front row, you're all moving on." Simon smirked.

I smiled and wrapped my arms around Aaron's neck, hugging him tightly as we both laughed and walked off the stage, so that the next group could come on. I quickly hugged Crystal as Aaron and Lee celebrated.

"I honestly thought my ass was done!" I laughed.

"I was freaking out. I didn't know who was getting sent home." Crystal smiled.

Lee held his arms out to me and I quickly rushed into his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck. He hugged me tightly and picked me up in a bear hug.

"I told you that everything would work out! You were nervous for absolutely no reason at all." I said, burying my face in his neck and hugging him.

"You have to deal with me for atleast another two days." Lee laughed softly.

"I think I'll survive." I let go of him, as he put me down.

-------

After a long day of waiting around and watching groups perform, some of them bombed horribly, I was finally back in the hotel and hanging out with Lee in his room. His roommate and friend, Andrew, was out for dinner with his girlfriend and son. So, I decided to keep him company. Not to mention I didn't really want to deal with Ashley. Yes, Ashley made it and Yes, I had to deal with her for atleast another two days.

Tomorrow was an off day and I was looking foreward to be able to explore the city with a bunch of people and not worry about the competition. I needed a day of fun.

"I'm so tired!" I sighed, tossing my body on Lee's bed and laying down on my stomach and turning my head to look at him.

He laid next to me on his back, flipping through the channels on the tv.

"Me too." He said, "Andrew and a bunch of other people are all going out for lunch and sight seeing tomorrow. You're invited if you want to come out with us. I don't know if you have any other plans of not."

"Yeah, actually Ashley and me were going to get mani's and pedi's and then we were going to go shopping and have a big lunch." I said sarcastically, "You're my only friend Lee."

"Cause you're a loser." He smirked.

"I tried being friends with Ashley and she wants nothing to do with me." I said.

"You have to realize, back where Ashley lives she is probably the hot, popular girl who gets whatever she wants. She now feels intimidated because there is a girl who is better looking, more talented, and a whole lot nicer. You're overall a better person then her and she feels intimadated. Hot girls are intimdated by hotter girls."

"Girls are crazy." I said.

"Yes they are. I have two older sisters and in high school all it was, was drama."

"Girls are very mean. That's why I have a select few girlfriends and two of those are my sisters and the rest are a lot like Crystal, drama free. I just find it easier to bond with guys and my boyfriend totally hates that." I said.

"Yeah, my girlfriend and me are on the verge of breaking up. She keeps calling me and making sure that I'm not cheating on her or she keeps asking me when I am coming home. It's getting to be really annoying and I don't want to be in a relationship where I have to constantly tell someone how great they are and how much I love them just to make them feel better." Lee sighed.

"Do you love her?" I asked.

"No, we've only been together a couple monthes, but she's so damn clingy. It's like she wants to get married and have kids anytime now. I'm 23 and no where ready for that."

"You as a dad." I laughed sofly.

"Right?"

"I'm kinda in the same situation, watching my relationship of nearly three years crumble before my eyes. He told me yesterday that he feel out of love with me and he thinks this whole thing is stupid and not worth it." I said.

"Why are you with somone like that? You don't deserve that."

"I know." I nodded, "It took me three years and all my family and friends to tell me he is no good to realize that he isn't worth my time."

"I'm here for you if you need to talk about this. I know it's not easy. I was in a relationship with a girl for three years and we ended up breaking up with me for another guy."

"I'm sorry." I said.

"It's okay now. The guy was one of my good friends."

"Wow. My boyfriend had sex with one of my friends at school." I said, "In my dorm room while I was at class."

"How are you with someone like that? You should have dumped his ass a lot sooner then this."

"Yeah. He's a jerk, a hot jerk, but a jerk none the less. He thinks he is God's gift to women and that every girl wants him. He's a typical Abercrombie wearing, jock, douchebag." I said.

"Abercrombie? Oh come on Kendall! I thought you were better then that. I know that you are little Miss. prep here, but you need a real man who doesn't dress like a chick and take more time then you to get ready."

"You're one to talk. Your hair is perfectly spiked today." I laughed.

"This takes me not even five minutes and half the time I wear a hat when I go out." He grinned, "Honestly though, you're gorgeous and such a cool girl and you deserve so much better."

"Thanks." I smiled, and blushed moving my head a bit closer to him.

He moved so his face was inches from mine. My pulse started racing and my heart was beating out of my chest, as he rested his forehead against mine. I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek and closed my eyes. I felt his lips brush against my and my stomach fluttered as I instantly molded my body, against his and deepened the kiss. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him.

I pulled away quickly when the door swung opened. Lee cursed under his breath as Andrew walked in the room and stopped short when he saw us. I quickly sat up and smoothed out my tee-shirt and looked down.

"We're you two doing some adult activites? I can leave if you want." Andrew smiled.

"Actually I'm going to get going. I'm exhausted and going to head to bed. Text me later with the plans for tomorrow." I said, standing up and sliding on my flip flops.

"Alright." Lee nodded.

"Bye Andrew!" I said as I walked past him and headed to the door.

"Bye!" He said.

I walked out of the room and closed the door.

I just made out with some guy, when my boyfriemnd was back home. I know we were on bad terms, but he was still my boyfriend and what I did wasn't right to Lee, Kyle, or Lee's girlfriend. As right as the kiss felt, it wasn't the right time to do it.

[lovestory]

Kendall.

I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, making sure my outfit and hair were perfect. I couldn't get the kiss with Lee out of my head. It wasn't right what we did and unfair to both Kyle and his girlfriend, but everything about the kiss felt so right. I actually felt something when we kissed, I couldn't explain it, but I just knew there was something there. Thank God that Andrew walked in because it would have gone much further.

I was going out with Lee, Andrew, and a few other contestants. It was our free day and I was excited to get a break and check out Hollywood. However I wasn't looking foreward to seeing Lee. I didn't want things to be awkward between us. Usually when you make out with a friend, who is in a relationship things get pretty awkward. I've never been in this position, but I'm not stupid. As great as the kiss was, it was going to be awkward today.

There was a soft knock on the door and I walked to the door and opened it. Lee stood on the other side and I smiled and opened the door wider, allowing him to walk into the room. I headed back into the bathroom and picked up my brush.

"We're just about ready to head out. Everyone's down in the lobby." Lee said.

"Okay. I'm almost ready." I said, walking past him and over to my purse that was on my bed, I tossed my brush in my purse and picked up the bag.

"Before we go out today, I just want you to know that everything that happened last night meant nothing. I was caught up in the moment and I have been away from my girlfriend for two weeks, so it just kinda happened. I talked to her this morning and everything is better between us and I feel like complete shit that I did that to her."

"Right. We are both in relationships and did something stupid." I nodded.

"So, we're cool?" He asked.

"Never weren't." I said.

"Awesome. Let's go and have some fun today before we have to go back to work." Lee said.

I nodded and watched him walk out of the room, feeling a bit defeated as his feelings changed so much from last night. I wanted so badly for him to feel what I felt, but apparently this Amber girl had some kind of hold over him. I was attracted to him and I wasn't afraid to admit that. Kyle and I were going to break up any day now, anybody could see that coming. Maybe I shouldn't feel so attracted to somebody when I have a boyfriend, but I couldn't help it.

--------

I sat in Lucky Strike Lanes as I waited for my turn to bowl. We all decided that we would go bowling and I had to admit that I was having a pretty good time. There was a bunch of us and everyone was really cool.

Andrew walked over to me and sat down in the empty chair next to me. I looked at him and gave him a small smile as he grinned and shook his head.

"What's that look for?" I asked.

"You and my boy Lee hooked up last night." Andrew laughed and shook his head, "The poor guy spent a hour in the bathroom after you ran out, doing God only knows what."

"That is so disgusting and wrong on so many levels," I grinned and shook my head, "It was just a innocent kiss. I have a boyfriend at home and feel horrible for happened and I know that Lee feels the same way about it."

"A innocent kiss with a lot of groping, grinding, and tounge. You guys can deny it all you want, but there is something between you guys. I guarentee it that you guys will end up together, it just seems like it is meant to be."

"Is he a cute guy? Yes," I nodded, "Do I want to date him though? No."

"Whatever. My boy likes you and he is in full denial. Every other story out of his mouth involves you, whenever we decide to get food or hang out he invites you, he always talks about you. He may say he has a girlfriend and I think he likes the idea of having Amber to go home to after Hollywood week is over."

"Well, I have a boyfriend and Lee and I are just friends. He's a cool guy. We shared a kiss and that's it. It was a mistake."

"Keep telling yourself that." Andrew grinned.

Lee walked over and Andrew smiled and nudged me playfully. I rollled my eyes and Lee sat down on the chair next to me, resting his head on my shoulder.

"I'm exhausted!" Lee said.

"Dude, how's Amber?" Andrew snickered.

"She's good. Why?" Lee asked, raising his head.

"Andrew's just being the typical loser that he is." I said.

Lee laughed and I grinned. My phone started vibrating, so I pulled it out of my pocket and saw Kyle's name on the caller ID. I stood up quickly and excused myself as I hurried outside to answer the call. It was too loud to hear in the bowling alley.

"Hello." I answered.

"Hi. What's up?" Kyle asked.

"Nothing. I have an off day today, so a bunch of us decided to go bowling." I said.

"Any guys?" He asked.

"Um Yeah. Lee and a couple of his friends."

"I feel like this Lee guy should really back away from you. Every story I hear, this guy is involved in them and I don't like it. He needs to realize that you have a boyfriend and don't want a little jerk like him."

"Stop it! He's a really cool guy and we are only friends. He has a girlfriend back home and we relate with eachother on a lot of things."

"He seems like a complete tool to me."

"You don't even know him."

"Why do you get so damn defensive!"

"He's my friend and I don't really appreciate you making fun of him, when you don't even know him."

"I don't like when guys are friendly with you. You know this guy just wants to get in your pants or have you allowed him to do that already? You're together constantly and it wouldn't suprise me if you spread your legs for him."

"Are you kidding me right now? That was really uncalled for." I said.

"Kendall, I can't do this anymore. I can't keep fighting with you and supporting you with something that I don't agree with you doing."

"You've never supported me." I scoffed, "I think we need to just break up, because living like this is completely unhealthy for the both of us!"

"Whatever! I never loved you anyway Kendall. You're nothing but arm candy and I hope that you and this Lee guy have some fun together making music. I hope he knows that you hardly ever put out and when you do, it sucks! He will probably end up cheating on you like I did. You're a bitch and I'm going out to hook up with every girl I want, not like being with you has ever stopped me from doing that! Now I just don't feel like a sleaze."

"Wow! I'm glad that is how you feel. I wish I never wasted a breath on you. You're a jackass and I deserve so much better then you."

"Have fun doing whatever you're doing in Los Angeles. I'll be laughing when you come back to school, after you fail in this show."

I hung up and shoved the phone back in my pocket. I closed my eyes and let out a loud sigh as I leaned against the building and choked back tears. Not because it was over, but because of how mean a person who I geniunely cared about talked to me.

"Kendall!"

I quickly opened my eyes and wiped away the tear that fell as Lee made his way over to me. Once he got closer his smile faded off his face and he gave me a concerend look as he noticed that I was crying.

"You okay?"

I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his chest. I felt his arms go around my waist and I let out a small sob. He placed his hand on my back and rubbed it gently as I hugged him tighter.

I needed a friend. I needed a shoulder to cry on.

[caitlynj]

this is so good, Lee and Kendall are so cute together.

[lovestory]

Kendall.

The following morning I paced back and forth backstage at the Kodak theatre. Today was the final day of performances and after everyone performed we would be separated into three different rooms. Only two of the rooms would move on and out of those two rooms the final 24 will be picked by the judges based on all three performances from our Hollywood round.

I was working on three hours of sleep due to the phone call with Kyle last night. It was a pretty crappy day all together yesterday and I wasn't feeling any better today. My nerves were shot and I was exhausted. A lot was riding on today and I couldn't screw this one up.

They called my name and I headed out onto the stage for the last time this week. It was bittersweet that it was actually almost over. I wanted to make it more then anything and I wanted the few amazing people I ment to make it as well. It's been a crazy couple weeks and I was ready to move on and hopefully I would be moving on to the Top 24 and leave my fate up to America.

"Hi. I'm Kendall Thompson and I'm going to be singing Jordin Sparks, Battlefield." I said into the microphone.

I waited for the music to start and for my enterance.

Don't try to explain your mind
I know what's happening here
One minute it's love
And suddenly it's like a battlefield

One word turns into a war
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down?
My world's nothing when you don't
I'm not here without a shield
Can't go back now

Both hands, tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
Why we gotta fall for it now

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like

Simon lifted his hand and the music stopped. Everyone clapped and I thanked them softly as I walked off the stage and handed my microphone off to the stage manager. I let out a small sigh and shook my head. Everything about the song was wrong. I was pitchy and a nervous wreck and I could tell the judges weren't into it. Way to make a great last impression on the performance that they are most likely going to remember the most.

I headed out of the theatre and into the lobby, sitting on the floor and resting my head against the wall.

"Nice job!" Lee smiled, walking towards me and sitting down next to me.

"I sucked, but thanks for the encouragement." I said, looking at him and giving him a small smile.

"We all have our off performances and your past performances have been really awesome."

"I screwed up and it sucks really bad. These past couple days couldn't have gone any worse. My ex-boyfriend went completely crazy on my ass and now I screwed up this once in a lifetime shot. All I wanted to do was prove to him that I can make it. I guess he was right." I sighed, wiping a tear away.

"Listen, you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. This guy shouldn't bring you down the way you let him. He's jealous because for once the attention isn't on him and he isn't the main thing in your life right now. I'm tired of seeing you crying over this guy." Lee muttered.

"Then don't listen. I thought I could count on you to care a bit or to even listen to me, but apparently you could give two shits."

"I will listen, but I am also going to give you my honest opinion on everything. First, this guy is a jerk and doesn't deserve anything you ever gave him and second, you had an off performance and yeah it sucks, but suck it up."

"Easy to say when you had three incredible performances and the judges adore you. I don't even think they remember me and there is nothing worse then being forgettable." I sighed, closing my eyes.

"It's over now and all you can do is just wait. If it's meant to be then you will make it and I really think you will. You're the hardest critic on yourself and you constantly beat yourself up over the tiny things in your performances." Lee said.

"You're one to talk." I snapped.

"Listen, I know you are upset about how it went back there, but I am not going to sit here and get a damn attitude from you when I am trying to comfort you." Lee shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"I'm so frusterated with everything and I am beginning to think that it was a mistake to even come here. I'm obviously out of my league and my dreams are only going to be crushed. I can't win this thing." I said.

"Are you kidding me right now? The only thing from holding you back from winning this competition is yourself. You are one of the most talented people that I know and I'm not just saying that." Lee said.

"I'm leaving and when I leave I will root for you and vote for you every week because I know you can win this. Just don't forget me when you're a huge rockstar and I am living in my parents house, trying to make a living by being a singer at local coffee houses." I ranted.

Lee leaned in out of nowhere and pressed his lips against mine. I was taken aback at frist, but relaxed and slid my hand up to his cheek. I broke away after a few seconds and looked at him, my forehead rested against his.

"I just needed to shut you up because your ranting is driving me insane." He smiled.

"You have a girlfriend." I whispered, my lips inches from his, "You told me how you didn't want to do this anymore."

"I can't help the way I feel about you. I've been trying so hard to control my feelings and I know that you just got out of a relationship and that I am sorta in one, but you're so different from everything other girl I have ever been with." Lee said.

"Don't do this. It will never work. You're going to Chicago for a couple monthes between the show and I am heading back to Georgia. I don't want to get attached to you, Lee. I don't want to be hurt again." I said quietly.

"I'm not going to hurt you." He said.

"Lee, you need to end it with Amber if you want anything to move on with us and even if you do end it, I'm not sure I want anything more then what we have. Like I said you'll be in Chicago and I will be in Georgia. That can be a problem." I said.

"You can fly out to see me and vise versa. We can make this work." Lee said.

"I have too much on my mind right now to focus on this. You're my friend and I really care about you, but right now I have to worry about the competition." I said, standing up and smoothing out my outfit.

I walked into the theatre. I was totally confused about what had just happened. Did Lee really just confess that he wanted to be with me? The guy had a girlfriend back home and even tho I had feelings for him, I was scared to jump into anything.

--------

I sat in a room with about twenty two other contestants, waiting for the judges to come in and deliver the fate. I was getting nervous, just waiting and looking around the room I realized that everyone else was as well.

I haven't talked to Lee since earlier today and was trying to avoid him as best as I could. He wasn't in the same room as me, but I was positive that he made it through. Like I said earlier, the guy had three stellar performances and he had the look as well.

I on the other hand was iffy about moving on. I was in a room with people who were like me, had a few good performances and a few bad. I wasn't feeling too conifdent and I just wanted the judges to come in and either ruin my dreams or tell me I was safe. Preferably that I was safe.

"I feel like I am going to throw up." I said, looking at Andrew who was in the room with me.

"I know. It's taking way too long." He sighed.

I nodded and laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes.

"Lee, told me about your talk earlier." Andrew spoke up.

"Does he tell you everything?" I sighed.

"Pretty much. He's my buddy and he's going to tell me these things. He really likes you and I think you should give it a shot."

"I told him this and now I will tell you. I'm not ready for another relationship and I focusing on the competition. Yes, I have feelings for him, but I am not ready to jump into another relationship. Especially when he is with another girl."

"Him and Amber are going to break up. He told me that he is going to end it when he goes back home." Andrew said.

"We'll talk about it then." I shrugged.

The door opened and everyone stopped talking amongst themselves and turned their attention to the door. Simon, Randy, Kara, and Ellen made their way into the room and my stomach churned as I realized that my fate was now going to be annouced. Either it was over or not.

I lifted my head from Andrew's shoulder and bit my bottom lip and let out a small sigh.

"As you all know, we have to cut people from this competiton and I have to say that this was the hardest decision so far in the competition." Simon said.

I laid my head back against the wall and closed my eyes, waiting. I needed to make it and I had a funny feeling we were about to be cut from the competition. The way he started out his statement, didn't set well with me. Just say it dude and let me leave.

"However, you guys are going to have to be stuck with us for a couple more days! You're going through!" Simon said.

I jumped up, as did everyone else in the room. I hugged Andrew tightly as everyone started cheering and hugging one another.

One more day of this. One more round to get through and I was heading into the live shows. This was honestly crazy.

[caitlynj]

yay!!! keep going.